Letting Yourself Soar -Lecture

I am very excited to be asked to speak to you here today, not because I like talking to large groups of people (in fact it’s kinda nerve-wracking) but because it represents a sort of personal triumph for me.  There is a lot of irony in my being up here.   You see, I went to Chinguacousy high school just down the road from here, and I didn’t actually graduate.  In fact I didn’t really think I was capable of accomplishing anything close to what I have done when I finished high school.  You might call it a miracle that I am here.  You might, or you might call it a slight shift in perception.

Let me explain a little bit about who I was then so you can see just why it is so amazing to me.  Some of what I’m going to tell you may be a little controversial to some of your teachers, but I ‘m going to say it anyway. 

First of all…From a young age I would have rather shoved hot pokers in my eyes than go to school on a regular basis.  This is a fact.  So as a highly creative person I started to come up with many highly creative ways to stay home.  In my day I must have wrecked dozens of thermometers by holding them up to light bulbs.  I must have been the most feverish child in Bramalea.  The truth was, I felt more inspired by Mr. Dressup than I did by most of my classes.  I wanted to live in that tree with Casey and Finegan, and spend my days making stuff out of egg cartons and bits of wool.  I felt freed spending my day in my pajamas and colouring to my hearts content.  These traits are still with me today, (actually I’ve made a career out of them). 

So when I went to high school I spent a lot of time being angry about a lot of things.  I resented spending hour upon hour listening to teachers talk about things that didn’t matter to me.  I resented being told what to write about, and how to write it.  In fact most of the time I would just tune out.  This one might shock you…I failed art…badly (somewhere around 42%), my teacher said I might be better suited to something else.  I loved going to assemblies like this because anything was better than being in class.  The word spare would send shivers of excitement up my spine; I started to create more spares.  I would pencil them into my timetable over the classes.  I told you I was very creative.  On my spares I felt like I could breathe again.  A lot of the time I couldn’t remember what class I had to go to.  If I did like a class I would get really excited about a project in the beginning only to have my energy fade and fizzle.  The end of most terms were incredibly painful for me.  I spent a lot of time hiding from teacher’s whose classes I had skipped.  I also spent a lot of time blaming my teachers for a lot of things.  I thought many of them were mean, or out to get me.  My report card was filled with words like "unmotivated, unsatisfactory effort, would have better result with improved attendance."  But I also blamed myself.  Why am I having so much trouble?  Maybe I am not intelligent enough, why do I not fit in to this place?  I always want to do better and I try but it never works out in the end.  Why do I put off all my assignments to the very end?  Right about now your teachers are probably asking "why did we ask this girl in to talk to our students?"
 

So I want to tell you something right now that was REALLY HUGE for me, something that took me a while to figure out…

My problem was not caused by the teachers, or the subject matter, nor was it my intelligence, or my personality…what I learned is EVERYONE LEARNS IN DIFFERENT WAYS.  I learned that I am unable to process large amount of information, and because of this I am easily overwhelmed.  And when this happens I TUNE OUT.  This really affects my ability to remember things well.  I am also a "hands on" learner, I need to do things for myself for it to really sink in.  Some people are visual, some auditory, others "hands on".  This was a wonderful revelation to me because it meant that I wasn’t stupid or dysfunctional, I just learned differently from others, it had to do with how my creative brain was wired.  So the solution for me was to separate the information into smaller doable chunks.  I had to come up with other ways to retain information, using visual tools and organizing things in specific ways using journals and calendars.

So the key here is…it is up to you to figure out what works best for you.  If you have a hard time doing this there are some little tricks that can help.  We all unknowingly carry a variety of myths about ourselves.  These myths are collected over time and sometimes they have the effect of sabotaging out attempts at being highly functional people.  So here’s the trick…the dark myths or labels that you hold about yourself will give you some insight into how you work.  Some of the things we have been taught are negative are actually our greatest strengths.  The key for me was shifting my perception of then and starting to really use them in my life and work.  We all have the power to reinvent ourselves at any time.

Embrace the so-called "bad stuff" by shifting your perception of it.  Is there another way to view it?  What if you experienced this same trait in another person?  Would it be as bad?  Use it to your advantage.  Don’t fix it, feature it.  Let if play a starring role in your life.

Here are my own examples:

Messy  -intensely creative, uses right brain
Never finishes anything  -through this belief I learned to put things into smaller chunks.  I work much better with projects that are quick; it gives me a much better chance at finishing.  (i.e. Instead of a novel write an essay.  I wrote a whole book this way. 
Procrastinator  -some of my best work comes out when I procrastinate.  I will give you a really cool technique for this shortly.
Poor memory /disorganized -  I have to write a lot of things down in my journal.  It really helps me to collect information in one place. instead of several places.

I think it is really important to talk to your teachers, especially the ones you connect with about what you need as their student.  They will be more than happy to accommodate your needs especially if it makes you a more productive student.

I really like the title of this series "Letting Yourself Soar".  The key word here is "letting", it is really up to you.  For those of you who find school painful right now, I am you.  When you get out into the world you are working for yourself (even when you work for others.)

The human brain is so wonderfully complex.  This seems to me another example of how everything happens as it is supposed to.  I can’t begin to tell you how powerful I feel to know that some of the previously perceived "FAILURES" in my personality are actually leading me into my greatest successes today.  I recently had an old high school friend say to me, "It’s so great that you are doing so well now, remember how you never finished anything when you were in school?  I just smiled to myself knowing that this in my little secret.  I was never really and underachiever, maybe just a bit misunderstood.

Another thing I wanted to talk a bit about is the future.  I used to tune out when this topic came up because I didn’t see myself as having much of one.  I’m just going to throw this out there.  As I said in the movie, Carl Jung said, "What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes?  Heir in lies the key to what you should be doing in your worldly pursuits."  You do not have to figure out what you want to do right now, this is very important to keep in mind.  But it helps to start to notice what you are drawn to in the world.  Start to become aware of what moves you?

Look to your daily life.  The things you do every day without thinking.  A walk in your neighborhood.  A phone conversation.   Your childhood obsessions.  Buying a new purse.  The normal parts.  The "boring" parts.  Your favourite cup.  A hole in your shoe.  What's in your knapsack.  What you ate for lunch.  Include the ugly parts which we often discard as sources. The mess on your desk.  A painful childhood memory.  A nagging fear.  A terrible fight.  A death.  Use these as elements in your opus.    Write them down.  Paint them out.  Transform them.  Change their meaning.  It is all worthy of documenting.  Your view of the world is unique. You might not see the beauty there.  Sometimes that is better.  Just get it out.  Start by talking about what you did yesterday.  Actually, just start.  To add my favourite saying, use what you've got!  (I actually got this from the Urban Peasant who applied it to cooking, but it works for everything.)

One thing I’d like to mention is that you really are not in control here, and sometimes your path will lead you to unexpected places.  It is funny for me to look back on the path so far, some of the places I thought I wanted to go hold no interest for me now, it evolves into something completely different.  Your interest in rap music may be leading you to a career as an accomplished poet, or maybe your childhood game of pretending to be Eviel Kineivel on your bike means you are a person who likes to take risks, that could make a great entrepreneur.  Oprah Winfrey used to be the chatty girl in school who spoke out in class and we all know what happened to her.  The trick is to head in the direction you are drawn in.  The many fears we hold, (about age, money, ability etc.) are usually imposed by our culture.  On occasion your culture may not support or understand your path, people will question you, you will in turn question yourself, that is quite natural.  Be honest with yourself along the way, keep doing what you are drawn to and you will succeed.
 
 

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