December 1st, 2006
the white wolf
today i would rather be submersing myself in the poems of mary oliver, wandering with her through the woods and wetlands. noticing the subtle palette of colors at this time of year, all shades of browns and faded rust with some yellow thrown in. the absence of green.
but instead I work on final art for a book. often not feeling like I know what i am doing. but i suppose that is par for the course. i always feel like this with every big project. it’s a lot harder though when you know this thing will be in print for several years and you will have to live with whatever mistakes there are for the duration. still i am in love with the work, even through these rough patches. the kettle seems to be going all day in this house. i measure my days with cups of tea.
and dog bones.
my life has been hijacked recently by a deaf australian shepherd named alex. i call him my white wolf. for many big reasons he has come into my life (our lives), most of which we are learning as we go. i am learning mostly about myself, (that I can be rather selfish and protective of my time/space, and learning to relinquish this was a bit of a shock to the system). it may seem strange to some, but this is one of the hardest things i have ever done. i have a new found respect for every parent and every dog owner on the planet, (now humbled and awed by you all.) and yet for all the ups and downs, i find myself drawn to several images of white wolves i find out in the world, a sign that this creature has forever wormed his way into my heart and body despite the daily challenges. more and more i am craving the feeling of rubbing my face into his incredibly soft white ears. and that wonderful nightly occurence we have dubbed, “sleepy puppy”, dozy loving eyes. i am adjusting to being woken up by a warm tongue on my face. and i am learning that some of his acting out comes from the fact that he is scared.
just like a lot of humans i know.
research: in native Haida culture the wolf represents intelligence, leadership and a strong sense of family.
p.s. this photo was the best i could get. he does not like the lights on the camera at all, and runs away terrified.