April 29th, 2010
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the force

How do I thank you all for all of the amazing emails that have been coming in from all over the world? It’s amazing really, I feel like I have allies in every little corner of the planet right now. So many of the letters were from people who don’t usually write (from Germany, France, Spain, Mexico, India, etc.). I feel very humbled and grateful for all of it. thank you.

What can I tell you right this minute? It is as if my life is a really good novel and the plot is unfolding right before my eyes. Sometimes we can only see how things are in hindsight, because we do not have the perspective. But right in this moment I feel I can see things very clearly. I hope this feeling stays, though I suspect it may not for a time. Everything is heightened, all of my senses.

I am being given all of the things I need (tools) to go through the fire. It is very much a hero myth in the Joseph Campbell sense. (If you are interested I highly recommend “the Hero’s Myth”, it will give you a whole new understanding of most movies, specifically Star Wars and most great works of literature.) There are points along the hero’s journey where they are given things they need to complete the task at hand. Sometimes it is meeting a person who can teach them special skills, sometimes it is an object. Most things are offered without the hero needing to seek them out. That is what has been happening for me in the last few days. I only needed to share my story with people (which I was nervous to do).

There are many themes at play here. A lot of excavation work, things in the subconscious coming to the surface.

Maybe at some point I will write here about the specific details, but at this point I don’t want to influence the journey in any way. The most challenging parts of this experience are still to come, (I will be having more surgery in the coming weeks and I am not sure how my eye will look/function afterwards), but I feel like I am being provided for at every turn.

for the curious, here is a picture of me a few years ago, (you can see the small bump on my lower left lid, it got slightly bigger than that but not much).

 
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