August 18th, 2011
tap tap

every night I walk several hours.
my baby has decided she does not like to stand still.
my husband and I take turns walking.
it has turned into a kind of poem.
a sleep deprived repetitive motion during which I notice the sound of the leaves and hear my feet hitting the ground.
tap tap tap tap tap tap
most nights I notice the sky, the clouds, the sunset, the hills in the distance.
little gifts amidst the chaos.

Aug 18 2011
3:49 pm
Rachael writes:

I love this. Luckily my baby goes down well at night (although wakes up often!) in the cot, but for daytime naps we also have to do lots of walking … I see it as a time to be mindful too.

Aug 18 2011
4:17 pm
anja troester writes:

dear keri, sounds electrifying how you handle it. the spirit of field investigation is the key to good parenthood. I bet your baby is keen on sharing this time with you.

Aug 18 2011
7:05 pm
Betty Sienkiewicz writes:

I remember those days so well. Seemed like it would last FOREVER. Now it is over, and I am sad. Enjoy it while you have it.

Aug 19 2011
4:16 am
paula mofokeng writes:

I know exactly how you feel. Like the world hands you little gems. And then my little baby’s face makes my heart smile. glow in fact.

Aug 19 2011
7:33 am
Christina writes:

I remember it well…My daughter is 11 years old and now sleeps like a baby (ha ha), but I did a lot of walking with her. At 11 she walks with me nearly every day and loves holding my hand as we walk, it is in us.

Aug 19 2011
8:58 pm
Dr. S writes:

It sounds a bit like kinhin, the walking meditation that we do in Zen practice, in between periods of sitting zazen: focusing on just the experience of walking, being in the body and walking, and being present for sounds and sensory experience as we walk. We only do it for *minutes* at a time, but I hope that the idea of walking meditation might help…

Aug 19 2011
9:11 pm
kerismith writes:

I am doing my best. But this phase (I know it will end soon) is one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I am grasping at anything I can right now. Last nights walk was a scream fest and I was not able to be as mindful.

Aug 20 2011
8:39 am
Monnah writes:

It’s a good thing you know it’ll pass! And once it does, you will enjoy the silent moments even more. Trust me. I know! :)

Aug 20 2011
5:13 pm
Dr. S writes:

It sounds to me as though you’re doing great! Contrary to that old adage, practice doesn’t make perfect. It just makes more practice, and survival. I hope that the screamfests ease up.

Aug 20 2011
9:08 pm
Brooke writes:

It is so comforting to read others’ stories of exhaustion with a new baby. Ours is 7 months old and has to be in constant movement as well. Only she likes to bounce, not walk. So we spend up to 30 min a night on a giant exercise ball bouncing her to sleep. But when she drifts off everything is reset and I’m renewed by looking at such a peaceful face. Best wishes to you.

Aug 21 2011
9:58 am
Mary Ellen writes:

I feel for you so much with the sleep deprivation part of all this and the brain / body scramble that it can create. It can leave you feeling so loopy and squirrely. As others have said (but in the midst of it so easy to forget), this is going to end. It will not go on forever. And, with just enough support and as good-enough a mindset as you can possibly muster in the midst of all this, you will survive this, too. Have you ever read Lawrence Tirnauer’s poem, The Sleepless Ones? Not exactly about baby-induced sleep deprivation but it might offer you something useful anyway. Will be holding good thoughts for you and your little one (and your hubby) in the days ahead, for either sleep or for a degree of settledness and acceptance in your sleeplessness until sleep returns.

Aug 21 2011
10:10 pm
Lia Hiltz writes:

We met in Flesherton in Steve’s store a few times. Hello! Congratulations on your new book.

I put a sign on my kitchen wall when my daughter was very small that said, Cope with one minute and then the next — not the future.

My colicky daughter needed to be swayed and jiggled for hours each after noon and night. I would stare at the sign, which was next to the clock. It was at times the only thing that would get me through some moments. I think it’s the worries about “how long this will last,” “how much more can I take” that were hardest for me.

Aug 26 2011
4:56 pm
Nancy writes:

…I’ve been there too. Thank you for being honest about how hard it can be to be the parent of a young baby! And yes it will pass… Good luck and hang on!

Aug 30 2011
3:40 pm
Kate writes:

My babes are in their teens now but your entry brings back many memories of sleep deprivation and crying babies.
If I could be bold and give a piece of advice it would be this:
Find time to get a massage. Taking care of wee ones every day is a blessing but it takes a toll on our bodies.
Peace be with you.

Sep 3 2011
11:42 am
ryan B writes:

very descriptive of you i can visualize it

Sep 30 2011
4:50 pm
J.R. Williams writes:

K – My husband and I had many, many sleepless nights. I completely understand what you’re writing about. You really have to live through it in order to know. Who knew that sleep was so important? Kidding. But seriously, everything will be fine and you will all get the sleep you need. :)

Leave a Comment
message *

Ad Free