March 18th, 2005
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“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” –Leonard Cohen

March 16th, 2005
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“When you are up against a wall, be still and put down roots like a tree, until clarity comes from deeper sources, to see over the wall.” –Carl Jung

March 12th, 2005

March 9th, 2005
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March 3rd, 2005

“It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky.”

February 18th, 2005
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I have put the journal pages up on flickr. I like seeing them as a set, will add to it as I go. (Just click on the collage above.)
Off to the city today with husband. Art supplies, tea, and the chinese bakery!

February 16th, 2005
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some days i am a five year old who cannot wait till morning to wear her new shoes.
impatient. many new projects on the horizon, things moving forward. big things. yet i am still waiting.
as a child i would always put my new shoes next to my bed so they would be the first thing i saw upon waking (and so I could fall asleep with the smell the new leather or plastic). on occasion i would even sleep with them on, enthusiasm eventually giving way to bulky discomfort, i would force them off with a sleepy kick. two pairs live on in my memory, my brown leather “buster brown’s”, and my blue “road runners”, plastic sole covered with the head of the famous, uncatchable bird. (Buying shoes now as an adult becomes a quest for the perfect shoe that lives up to these early memories. an intensive mix of comfort, style, and design.)
but i digress, (i did not intend to go into a diatribe about footwear today, no I did not, but such is the nature of writing.) where was i? impatience. yes.
it may be the winter too. i am impatient for the green to show itself again. i want to not have to bundle each time i go out for a walk. i want to wear my red running shoes with a skirt and knee socks. i want to sit outside in the sun and smell the earth. I want, i want, i want. i try to tell myself that things come in their own time, not to push the river. i am reminded of a poem by shel silverstein (which i is perfect for my cranky five year old self)…
’twas the first day of the springtime,
and the snowman stood alone
as the winter snows were melting, and the pine trees seemed to groan,
“ah, you poor sad smiling snowman,
you’ll be melting by and by.”
said the snowman, “what a pity,
for i’d like to see July.”
chirped a robin, just arriving,
“seasons come and seasons go,
and the greatest ice must crumble
when it’s flowers’ time to grow.
and as one thing is beginning
so another thing must die,
and there’s never been a snowman
who has ever seen July.”
(excerpted from ‘Snowman’, in Where the Sidewalk Ends)

February 7th, 2005
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found postcard, circa WW2, (type added)
“I think I am always collecting in a way–walking down a street with my eyes open, looking through a magazine, viewing a movie, visiting a museum or grocery store. Some of the things I collect are tangible and mount into piles of many layers, and when the time comes to use these saved images, I dig like an archeologist and sometimes find what I want and sometimes don’t.” –Corita Kent
I have become obsessed with the idea of collecting of late, the journal being the receptacle for the things collected. I particularly like the idea of collecting something random for a week, something as a texture. Like price stickers, or type samples cut out of magazines. How about the letter “a”? Reminder: carry gluestick at all times.
Book proposal #2 is done. How did I ever complete two in one month? I did not think it was possible. My brain is still in creation mode, so many ideas flooding in all at once. Different things. I am evolving. I like the idea that you might not know what to expect next. An artist should never be pinned down to one specific format. I want to always be experimenting. Pushing my own limits. I want to surprise myself. Everything I do adds up and goes into each new project, (layers again). The trick is in not resisting the change.
I added the type to the postcard as a reminder to myself to not take myself too seriously. Plus I just liked the absurdity of the photo. What are these strange men doing? The back of the card implies it is some form of gymnastics.
some things I am enjoying…
…a colorful new necklace by Jessica.
clarendon. It’s my new signature font.
…the films garden state. and grey gardens (hmmm is there a theme here? not really.)

February 3rd, 2005

“I hate writing. I love having written.” -Dorothy Parker
I think the main benefit in doing pieces you are not invested in is pushing yourself into places you don’t normally go, or don’t want to go. I have on purpose cut out photos that I am not really drawn to and tried to use them in something. Not really liking the feeling of a piece and reminding myself that it matters not. Sometimes I get halfway through a piece and flat out hate it. (The piece below on the right was one.) So I keep going, add a few lines, fill the page. Move on to the next. Sometimes a few days later I will look at it again and find there is something in it, something beautiful that I didn’t see.
I remember a story told to me recently at a dinner party. An art instructor seperated his class into two groups and asked them to produce a body of work. The first group was told that they would be graded on quality (how successful each piece was), and the second group was told they would be graded on quantity (pure numbers). As you may have guessed the quantity group was the most successful, producing large numbers of pieces that the artists were really happy with. The greater the number the less attached to the outcome the artists became. The quality group laboured over each piece, experienced more stress, and became much more self-critical. Interesting.
For me these pieces are largely about accomplishment. Even after doing a couple pages I feel satisfied, that I have produced some work, and given new life to my journal. The journal becomes less about documenting (it’s usual role), and more about letting go. I have on occasion gone back to some of these collages as inspiration for my commercial work, (using color combinations, composition, etc.)

February 3rd, 2005
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“Learning isn’t predictable.” -Gord Peteran

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