i’d like to sit down and draw for a few hours and let all the weight of my thinking mind be still for a while. it feels like a burlap bag loaded with large rocks that sits perched on the top of my head. these rocks make sleeping unconfortable and i shift back and forth trying to get a better position. (this situation is made worse by a bed that was designed in the 1800′s, the kind with a mattress perched high atop a set of thin springs, making the slightest move like surfing rapids. my husband and I are taking turns on the couch so we can at least get a few hours of shuteye a night. i am still undecided which is better, the bed or the couch, they each present their own set of problems. couch=slope. bed=bounce. slope or bounce? bounce or slope? i spose the overactive brain doesn’t help the situation.)
but all of this is normal as I am finishing up the book manuscript. not having a real “home” currently (we don’t move into the house until October), i am trying to find the right place to work. nothing feels right. i put a cold piece of pizza into a plastic bag and throw it into my carry all. i now flit from cafe to library to park. i’m not going back (allowed back) to the apartment until i complete ten pages.
i need to just get down to it, but i’m fighting it today. like i so often do. every time this happens i think…”this time i won’t be able to do it.”
but i always do. it will all get done.
as always i have found the perfect quote for the occasion, (leave it to Corita to soothe my creative brain and let me know that i am exactly where i am supposed to be)…
“I have an idea for making something or i have a deadline…and i always have a kind of natural resistance to getting down to it. Somehow I feel that this kind of natural resistance is quite healthy–because all the information, sources and ideas need cooking before they can be served. So I go on living and I go on doing what might seem to be very uncreative things like shopping or cooking or washing the dishes or answering the phone or writing letters–and sometimes the data comes out and asserts itself into my consciousness, and i live with it for a while.” ~Corita Kent (from “Learning by heart”)
i now summon the bookwriting gods to come and help me. i’m not sure where the best place to contact you from is but i am planning right now to go eat my pizza on the grounds of Russel Sage.
just so you know.
and i’m wearing my green shirt with the white flowers.
and my red sneakers.
just so you know.
how ’bout now?