Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I will keep them in mind.

Beautiful post. Found you via Self Portrait Tuesday blog. I have felt that the so called “best” photos of me were in the possession of someone else. I often wondered if the former close buddy that I fell out with years ago kept that photo of me in her scrap book or did it end up shredded and discarded? Or if the ex-boyfriend that I dumped still keeps that intimate shot in his possession? Although it took a while, I had to resolve within myself that those pictures were just only reminders of some idyllic times in my life, and the so called bad photos are me living in real life. They may not be flattering, but they are snapshots of good, sad, humorous, and memorable times of friends, family, passed on loved ones, and me.

Awesome entry! You pack so much into them.. The line, "your eyes lit up for an instant and they saw your soul flood out." !! I feel like I should write that one down and tape it to my computer monitor. I always come away from what you write with so much. Yeah I think sometimes we just set our own bars way too high. I'm guilty of it too. For whatever reasons. And maybe it has to do with changing what we perceive to be beautiful. There's just not enough time to tear ourselves down or think we're not enough. Thanks for reminding me to dare myself more. Hey, have you heard of Barbara Sher?

You are an awesome women...you said everything so well! Thank you, I needed to read this today! You made my day!

I have found old photos of myself that at the time I absolutely despised, cringed and wanted destroyed immediately, I even tried to beg the owners to give them to me. Now when I see them I see they are quite good (or at least fascinating) and can see myself perhaps as someone else might have then...I suppose the 'now' me is not exactly the same as the 'then' me. Even now, I hate seeing photos of myself, and try not to hone in on things no one else sees, or more importantly cares about. They see the person, the character, the moment, Not the......... (insert any number of personal insecurities). I now know not to worry and in the future I will really appreciate these shots, because once this time is gone you can never actually see it again. My mum was even worse than me in this way. Fortunately I never destroyed pictures of her at her request, as like your mum, mine is no longer here with us. It is the more candid, less traditionally flattering ones that show her as she was so beautifully and bring a smile, and sometimes a tear too.:) I've never commented before, but I am always inspired by your blog.

Such a beautiful post. I just stumbled across your blog for the first time. I'm off to read the more of your posts and get inspired. Thanks!

Love this post. Love this photo. Thanks for always inspiring and making me think.

i hope you don't consider that a bad picture of yourself. i think it's charming!

Wonderful ideas, here!
Especially theTruly Beautiful Photo Gallery of which the last picture could be a mirror!

You'd have to call it the TRULY BEAUTIFUL photo gallery. Fabulous post.

After putting on weight in my early twenties, I am only just now able to look at photos, and not immediately recoil, thinking that I look fat. Now I try to look at the bad double-chinned photos, the bad angle phots, and enjoy them - thinking "voluptuous, beautiful, lush, curved" rather than fat. Bad photos are a great learning tool.

hi kerri,
i would love to use this post on self portrait tuesday - what do you think?
selfportraittuesday.blogspot.com

Hi Keri! Wonderful website - first time to visit - accidentally saw your link in 43things.com. I'm all about injecting creativity and introspection in every day (which inspired me to create my blog), and I'll check out your book LoL.
Your experience re: bad photos is so common and true - and your ideas are truly inspiring.

yesterday i had a "fat" day, and i was
trying on a striped cotton sweater in a shop
and there were mirrors all around me
and my skin was pale and my hair was frizzy
and i felt so bloated and ugly and wrong
when something inside me stirred
made me turn around and
face myself and smile
and i started laughing
for there was nothing wrong with me at all

& this post is your best ever

I really do believe that things are written or said that we need to hear. I just posted an ATC card on one of my list serves. Everyone was to do a photo of themselve and tell a little bit about our roles. I chose to use a photo of me when I was 10 or 12...with a suitcase in my hand. I labeled it Journay. I thought I was being ever so clever. Someone on the list called me on it for not posting a recent picture--I had JUST answered that email before I log into your web page. I, of course, said how I hate photos of myself as I am not tall and thin....you are soooo right..why can't we love who we are? I have so many talents, I am creative, insightful, funny, and what do I see--the short - fat-- person. How sad is that. My children also have few photos of me...always behind the camera. Thank you for your words, Keri. You are indeed a beautiful person....

I wish that we all as women could expand our defnition of beauty wide enough to include ourselves in. What a beautiful world that would be to live in.

thank you, keri. for this post and this picture and all the wonderful feelings I get when I visit here. you don't know how much I relate and needed to connect with myself on this very subject today. gracias!

. . . there ain't a gal out here who doesn't resonate with you . . . I leave for a blind date in about 6 hours and I'm torn between: 'if he doesn't like me even though I need to lose 20 pounds then it's good to know he's operating on that level' and feeling like 'oh crap, why can't i just lose this weight?' and on and feeling like a stuffed sausage and feeling gorgeous and vibrant . . . sigh . . . i'm just gonna go to the gym and sweat til i feel like myself again . . . ps - you are so gorgeous . . . really, really gorgeous . . . on the outside, on the inside . . . just look at that hunka lovely man-stuff you married :) if that ain't proof, i don't know what is, because last time i checked you weren't offering up sugar mamma benefits . . .

I love this...

I struggle with this...

All of it...

My imperfections are still on the dirty floor and if I do pick them up, it will probably be with my index finger and my thumb, held at arms length, while I make a face like I'm smelling onions.

Thanks for the wisdom.

hey buddy. I miss you in all your glory!

I learn something new each time I visit you.

look at you! you are perfect.

love :)

...does self-absorption breed discontent?

I hope this doesn't all appear twice, but my first attempt vanished!
Yes yes,yes! I see someone else has noted my thoughts on the digital camera. I have been so pleased to be able to delete any image I have disliked. However, recently, my husband took a picture of me at a family gathering in 'full flow'. I was laughing, red faced( too much Australian wine), frowning and waving my hands in the air. I paused when he showed me the photo and thought 'well hell' here's a woman of 46 having a bloody good time'. So the image has been kept and I intend to continue having 'a bloody good time' and keeping all the images good or bad!
Thanks Keri for a great post.

I have many friends who are afraid of having their photo taken purely because the photo might turn out “bad.” This makes group photos a difficult task because half of them want to be the people behind the camera instead of in front of it.

My pyjamas smell like cereal and milk, too.

and it is interesting to think that in the age of digital cameras, very few bad pictures of people will exist, as they will be instantly deleted.

You are a wondrous beauty inside and out and I love you.

Maybe if we look at all of our bad pictures, we would find that they weren't so bad? No. My bad pictures are truly bad. I look tired and old and weird. Truly. But you've given me a lot to think about.

"...put onto the list of "People who look unique""...LOL

the irony of that photo is that the reason I am laughing is because Matt (Andrea's husband) was teasing me about being uncomfortable about having my photo taken.

Hell, I even sang and danced, trying out the video option of my new digital camera!

It is a brave thing when someone who looks this
lovely http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/keri_smith_400.jpg shows crappy photos of themself to the whole world.You send out A BIG wave of self acceptance to all of us who read your blog by saying even I am flawed sometimes and have pictures of myself to prove it! you say to all of us that being flawed sometimes is intrinsic to life.Thank you lots & lots.

------------------------------------
"i'm just one of the humans you know,im ugly,pretty,fat,thin,horrible,delightful i've got everything inside me that I think everybody else has" -Bjork

i love it keri. i think you should create a Flickr group just for bad pictures of ourselves. it would be hilarious!

i totally dig this.
you sound so incensed with passion and energy and aliveness.

yesterday i drew a picture of my body.
all parts of it - the ribcage, half inch of waist galloping into wonderfully voluptuous bottom and thighs, the lopsided breasts, the undefined calves. all of this. not just all of this, but the strong long arms, broad shoulders, elongated runner's body {that hasn't done much running}. and then drew love hearts all around it. it made my heart SING.

blessings,
leonie

this made me laugh and say hallelujah for the "bad" photos and the friends who can say those nice things in the face of the flared nostrils and ratty hair:) you rock! i hope your hangovah clears up.

oh lord, I was nursing a hangover this morning, fighting familiar thoughts of self-recrimination--slowly brought back to life by a sweaty workout and my eggplant and polenta leftovers. I remember a lot of healing came from a figure drawing assignment, years ago, in which I drew a full-length drawing of myself--somehow I was able to love every curve and bump, as I do when I sketch a model. I think I need to get back to my earlier self-portrait days with photography. Learn to toss out my self-images by creating images, perhaps?
Words aren't enough to thank you for all your honesty, your choice to share with your readers. . .

you are awesome. thank-you, i got a great deal out of your post. i think that we hate the photos of ourselves the most that are the most natural and carefree. we tend to like the ones where we are in control, control of having on good lipstick that day, showing a flattering angle,holding our stomach in,turning to the flattering angle, control of knowing that our picture was going to be taken so we could "get ready". its like how you wish and pray and hope for something, and you finally get it, and you want to back out, you don't feel "ready". we want to be in control, fel safe in our control, know what is going to happen. it is usually the pictures where we are laughing with our heads back, being really present, being natural, smiling with our gums showing and laughing with our nostrils flaring,enjoying life and being who we really are that we find ugly, have you noticed?! like people who are afraid that they look ugly when they have an orgasm, but actually they are vulnerable happy alive, letting go of control. there was an ad once that i read that said "you have to appreciate authenticity in all of its forms". i cut it out, hung it up. i look at it everyday. my dear friend offered to take the pictures at my wedding, she is amazing, a loving eye, a true artist, a giving spirit, and i am ashamed to admit that my first thought inside my head was not of gratitude and appreciation for the gift being offere to me from her heart, it was "no way!! she is 4 ft 11! I am 5 ft 6!every shot she takes will capture my double chin! no!" i did not say that, but think about how we reduce ourselves to appearances all of the time. and i would like to think i am and most of my friends are further down the path than many, than we used to be , on the whole body image externalization based worth thing we are handed along with our western citizenship. but sadly,we still ate the message. **and when oprah winfrey feels ashamed of letting go, crying, showing an "ugly cry". women laugh, it is really sad. oprah is being authentic, moved, touched, affected, 100% alive, vulnerable, human when she lets go into what she calls her "ugly" cry...but really, could anything be more beautiful than being so alive, so in the moment, so able to let life reach you that deeply, so able to be touched by humanity in such a big way. we are never really more beautiful. **

interesting...that photo was taken on my wedding day.

i was indeed joyous.

ahhhh yes, the bad photos. we all have them. in fact, if you visit my home i have them all collected in a cute green tin box. where? on my home alter...the place i pray, meditate, think, write. why? so they can get all the love. so that all the thoughts i've had about those photos can find their healing.

Seven years ago, after being exposed to the work of Nan Goldin, I started taking pictures of myself. I hate having my picture taken. I hate the way I look in pictures, but if I do it myself, I control the image. It becomes less about me and more about the image, the act, the moment--all of these things which are bigger than me. I forget me in the mechanics of the camera.

I especially love to take self-portraits in hotel bathroom mirrors.

P.S. That is a wonderful, resonant photo. It screams joy.

i so get everything you just shared. i am right there with you, sister. in more ways than one.

and...we DO think you're beautiful...in a myriad of ways; physically, emotionally, creatively and soulfully. xo, denise

wow. i am trying not to cry after reading this one. i'm always the person behind the camera!!! i hate being photographed. my favorite photo of myself consists of me, head down, scarf on, wearing a winter jacket. but my hair looks REALLY good. you can't even see my face!!! funny that you posted this now. i recently posted a profile on myspace.com. when i check it, i look to see how many profile "views" i have & how i only have a few "friends". i am always thinking these people saw my photo & decided i wasn't worth it. nice way to think of myself, huh? anyway, it's good to know there's another human in the world who shares my insecurities. i think the bad photo gallery is a great idea!!!