author...illustrator...guerilla artist
author...illustrator...guerilla artist
back to an empty work space, the deadlines, the sound of a radio with shrill violins playing in the background, to the picture of frida hanging over my desk with the bubble that reads "risk everything", to the pile of paper that I don't even want to look at, to the phone ringing.
and what do I bring back with me? how do I hold onto the laughter and the crying and the emotion? how do I avoid slipping back into the same routine of before? because I am changed. I feel stronger, I want to let that strength spill out onto the street while I walk so everyone can see it. I want to channel the different energies of all the women, each one so unique and special. How do you speak of these things without sounding incredibly trite?
Today it starts with the purchase of a new skirt, the ultimate tool of feminine expression. A new uniform. when you put it on you feel different. only you know what it represents but others can sense something big. You notice people at the coffee shop looking at you.
a friend mentions, "I don't know what it is but you look really good today."
I know.
But it's not the skirt. It's the feeling in the pit of my belly, the one that tells me I can conquer the earth today.
And somewhere in that place I know that the deadlines, the pressure, the business, the ego, the obligations don't really matter at all.
Today I feel like traveling. I want to roam the earth and suck in every last bit. Drink strong espresso, eat fruit and pannecotta, try on high heeled shoes (because I never do), sit in cafes and write letters to friends, find a fire to throw my worries into, have a conversation with an old woman who has lived a good life, hear an language that I don't understand, sleep outside under a tree, be a seductress, cook italian food, take in some views.
"The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe." ~Joanna Macy
Posted by kerismith at January 17, 2006 12:55 PMThank you for sharing such personal thoughts, they lift me up and confirm many times to what is inside of me also, that I never put into words.
Posted by: Cindy Lee on January 20, 2006 05:42 PMI've felt inspired all week, reading the posts of all of you about the retreat. Absolutely wonderful. You also made me crave a new skirt!
Posted by: Marieke on January 20, 2006 01:39 PMI feel the power through your words! :)
PS: as for good italian recipies, just ask me ;)
I agree with Kim, if you could bottle your retreat, we would all drink drunk happily!
thanks for the taste of your experience!
I love the quote.
Cheers to the world that's unveiled each time a beautiful heart cracks open!
:)
Posted by: April on January 18, 2006 09:30 PMYour writing is so vulnerable and Raw- Thankyu!
Perhaps you can facilitate a womens Creative
Gathering in the future!
Namaste
Posted by: MARYBETH on January 18, 2006 04:34 PMHi Keri,
My best friend, Laini, and I have been so deeply inspired by the community of kindred souls you all have created that we each got our own sites going, and would love for you to visit them if you have any spare moments. Mine is http://marvelousmadness.blogspot.com and Laini's is www.lainitaylor.com -
Your willingness to so consistently risk yourself internally and externally is so very beautiful. Thank you for sharing yourself with the rest of us.
amazing post keri. it's so true that beauty lies within isn't it? when you FEEL good about yourself you glow, people can tell there's something going on, they can't place it but for some reason they have to look at you.
you've made me want to travel too....i especially love the idea of writing letters while sitting in a cafe.
you're so beautiful.
keri...you have inspired me to explore a little beach town today that i've been meaning to visit. i will put on my favorite funky skirt and knitted hat and scarf, with journal and sketchbook in tow. thank you for this. gotta get out of my studio!!! xo
Posted by: bohemiangirl on January 18, 2006 11:57 AM
a group of creative sisters is a powerful punch.
could you bottle some and send it to me!
oh the power of a skirt!
just seen one I adore but can't afford...
Posted by: m on January 18, 2006 05:53 AMhere's to more hearts broken open like yours!
Posted by: tonya on January 18, 2006 01:00 AMhmmm....i think we all need a weekend retreat.
you quote is lovely
Power is the word--and you are exuding it!
Posted by: patry on January 17, 2006 10:11 PMWow - you really had a fabulous weekend with the ladies! I'm so happy for you and for the other seven women who attended (I've been reading their blogs, too, and they're equally as moved by this past weekend's get-together). Yay for creative, inspiring friends! They make life so much better, happier, richer...
Susanna
Posted by: susanna on January 17, 2006 09:45 PMI love the feeling of power I get reading these words. It's not just a feeling. It's true.
Posted by: an awfully serious girl on January 17, 2006 09:40 PMYes, yes, yes, yes. All of it.
I feel the change too. And I'm going to try to do something every day to manifest that change out in the world.
Maybe I need to get a skirt....
Posted by: Feisty on January 17, 2006 05:16 PM... so good for you!!!
... this is about how I felt, after I also had three ceative days together with some artists in a sunny Nov, 2004. And whenever I look at the sketches, texts and illus we made - in fact the just came, they weren't not "made" - the power, relief and looseness of living comes right back again.
Thank you for referring to your new skirt as a new uniform. I think you're right there. I might do the same.
Posted by: schmutzie on January 17, 2006 01:19 PMi'm thinking striped cashmere blend knee socks. i want to maintain that high, that feeling of not knowing how to say goodbye, want to lick the panne cotta one more time. but, today i must find new ways to make my life my art. reading your entries help me do that. i LOVE you, sister. all your parts.
Posted by: pixie on January 17, 2006 01:14 PMAs long as your drawings will get even better, I'm all for it. New skirts, whatever it takes. I love my flipflops. Not very practical in Canadian winters.
Posted by: eliane on January 17, 2006 01:01 PM