author...illustrator...guerilla artist
author...illustrator...guerilla artist
Time for writing overdue letters to friends and family back home. I don't know why I've been avoiding it, but I have. I think it might be that I feel myself evolving and I worry that others want to old me, (the one that was more passive, the one who didn't stick up for herself, or the one who smiled and nodded and made everything feel o.k. all of the time). I feel as though I am emerging into a completely different model of myself, and there are a small handful of powerful women in my life who are walking this path with me at the same time. For this I am grateful. (I will some of you soon, in a few short weeks).
So on to the wrapping, finishing up the last of the projects, pushing away the flood of ideas that beg to be written down on a constant basis.
I received a manuscript back from my agent this week and looking at it again I feel it's potential. The pile of rejections have done nothing to dilute the fact that I think it is good, much to my surprise. It is just a matter finding the right place for it.
Creatively I am exploding at the seams. There is a giddyness that wells up in the middle of my chest, it feels much like just a happiness at being alive. I heard an interview (podcast) last night between Miranda July and author George Saunders (put out by the Hammer Museum) in which he descibes the feeling that preceeds his writing, when he knows something is about to pour out. He too relates it to feeling joyful, or grateful for everything. While this may not be true for all artists, it is certainly true for me. Wanting to explode.
I wish I could articulate it better, but I am distracted hung lights and colors, and christmas music, and food and shiny presents that arrive in the mail.
How I love shaking the packages.
Sometimes christmas is better unopened.
Most often, little packages hold better surprises than the big ones.
Posted by kerismith at December 23, 2005 01:31 PMThis is a favorite inspiring spot you have here! Full of creative energy and generous wisdom! Like you said on your ideas, #13 draw a map on the creases of your hand..your handprint has beauty written all over it! Brava!
Posted by: coreyamaro on December 28, 2005 04:10 AMInspired as I am by the initial comments on this post, I'm immediately going out to buy myself some Xanax, Ultram, Valium, Ambien, and Didrex. Following which I'll probably go into a coma.
Love you, Mrs. Smitcher. Post X-mas, but the thought still counts some. I hope.
Best,
CK
Posted by: Christian Kiefer on December 28, 2005 03:57 AMI just wanted to say THANK YOU out loud for all your precious thoughts that brighten up my everyday and remind me that life is so beautiful!!
Posted by: Woodstock on December 27, 2005 06:42 AM...sometimes Christmas is better unwrapped...That line speaks volumnes! Well put (!), on many levels. I can image the energy that you have in wanting to share your ideas ...it is evident in you writing, full of promise and songs sung strongly..a gift like yours runs a deep river!
Posted by: Corey on December 25, 2005 08:45 PMI'm calling 2006 The Year to Trust Myself...I know it will take practice! frida
Posted by: frida on December 25, 2005 09:12 AMKeri, just wanted to let you know you bring so much joy to me throughout the year! Thanks so much for everything!!
Posted by: Rachael on December 24, 2005 05:44 PMKeri,
Much, much joy to you this Christmas :-)
nadine
Merry Christmas Eve Keri!
Posted by: m on December 24, 2005 07:42 AMI need to read you every day...that isn't something I should do like a chore but something I want to do like a gift to myself. I read your post this morning. I have never felt the feelings you describe. When I write music or essays, I rarely feel joy, rather the words flow from some other place, an often sad and serious zone.
God bless your joy ...
Posted by: Richard on December 24, 2005 01:55 AMMerry Christmas, my dear. I am so excited to see you in the new year.
Posted by: Swirly on December 24, 2005 12:28 AMThe feeling that you described... I get that... the euphoria, the giddyness, the feeling like I'm going to explode. .... and then, when I'm drawing it envelopes me... it takes me away. It is the most wonderful gift to know this feeling, to experience it.
It is truly the opposite of those days where the "inner critic" looms. I wish there was a name for the feeling, and I share your difficulty articulating it.
"Sometimes Christmas is best unopened".... Indeed. :o)
Season's Blessings!
Posted by: Terri on December 23, 2005 11:37 PMI think of the feeling of wanting to write, knowing I'm going to write soon, like a tingling, a shiver, like falling in love, that crush, that swoon.
My eighth grade English teacher said to me I should save my rejection letters and paper my walls with them. I have.
Posted by: an awfully serious girl on December 23, 2005 10:38 PMO yes, I have that giddyness too. Lovely feeling that is. Also so wonderful to have that feeling while others put the trust in me to assign me the work. It stays strange.
Posted by: eliane on December 23, 2005 10:23 PMHave an incredible Christmas!
I am excited for you- for all of your growth, for taking a leap, for stepping into the unknown. This has been my life as well the past few years and so I can identify. Cheers to you!
Have been meaning to comment and tell you that I got the American Girl Journal you made for my two cousins for Christmas and they LOVED it. Frankly, I kinda wish I had my own. I was instantly taken back to my childhood where I would spend hours entertaining myself with many of the things you had in the book. Anyway, kudos on a job well done. I was thrilled to give it and they were thrilled to each get one.
Posted by: Jodi on December 23, 2005 06:52 PM"Sometimes christmas is better unopened."
Oh, how much of a chord this struck with me!
How amazingly true!
Unopened Christmas has such potential, planning, possibility...
TFS!
Posted by: Felecia on December 23, 2005 05:25 PM