"If we listened to our intellect we'd never have a love affair, we'd never have a friendship, we'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well that's just nonsense! You've got to jump off the cliff all the time and build wings on the way down." ~Ray Bradbury
I must have sturdy solid wings by now, I feel like I've been jumping constantly in the last two years, in the realms of love, career, friendship, home. Somedays I still find myself spinning from it. Currently I seem unsure of how to be, who I am in this new place. There are no routines developed yet, none of the habits that create a sense of familiar. Even the comforting things feel different (watching movies, reading). So I give myself the time to adapt, and try not to push myself too much.
Today I worked at a couple of morning collages which felt forced, nothing flowed, much like the feeling of sandpaper moving accross cement.
I've felt these things many times in the past and I know by now that it will pass. I know that at some moment when I least expect it I will become consumed with an idea or a project and throw myself into it with wild abandon, stopping only to sleep or to respond to the jarring ring of the phone.
But for now I partake in the simple things. Riding bikes through the incredible vegetable gardens in Village Homes, gasping at all the varieties of flowers. Fuscia zinneas, purple morning glories, the strange yellow blossoms of okra (one of my favourite vegetables). We sat watching the rooster (Fabio) with his wild feather hat act menancingly protective of the females in the coop, picked fresh figs off a tree and ate them (the best fig I've ever had, this place will spoil you on produce forever.) Picked some tiny red apples and met a grey and white speckled cat friend named Oslo.
Posted by kerismith at October 03, 2005 12:23 PMI liked this morning collage a lot too. I'm really glad to see you posting them again.
Posted by: Dawn on October 5, 2005 09:18 PMYour feelings and words ring true with me, we have up rooted ourselves and moved recently. It's been almost 3 months now and I'm still trying to find that familiar feeling inside of me that tells me everything is going to be fine & good here. I take comfort in the simple things, nature in the Coachella Valley, my beloved husband and of course my camera and computer. I look forward to the day when I can be painting again and really feeling like this is home to me.
Posted by: Cindy Lee on October 4, 2005 03:05 PMI like that Ray Bradbury quote a lot. I heard it not too long ago on book tv on c-span and it has really stuck with me. It's neat to visit your blog and see that you've chosen to include it in your entry. I guess it's all about faith, courage and inventiveness. Jumping off a cliff and building your wings on the way down reminds me of learning to swim. There's that moment when you don't want to sink anymore and you have to breathe so you choose to swim..and it's instinctual. So maybe we don't have to worry as much as we sometimes think about how we build our wings. Or how we are going to build our wings. Or falling. Maybe all we have to do is try to (as all the great gurus keep reminding us) be as present as possible in each moment and make the best decisions we can in each moment. Flow. That way our day-to-day life and all the new things we encounter can be broken down into more manageable steps and things become a little easier and less overwhelming. Which reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes - from Bruce Lee who said we should "be like water".
Posted by: M on October 4, 2005 02:39 PMmaybe the new challenge sitting in your lap is to not try and feel merely "the same" as before ... maybe it is time to feel newness in all senses, even in a sense of self. there may be parts of yourself that you never had the chance to be acquainted with before. why not take the time to meet the "new" keri while in this new place of life?
Posted by: lisa on October 4, 2005 12:02 PMit's funny, i think today's collage is one of the more beautiful ones i've seen on your site. i find the colours and shapes and the way you've arranged them to be delicious and not sandpapery at all!
Posted by: susannah on October 4, 2005 09:20 AMdespise not the day of small things... I can't remember the exact quote. Sometimes all we can do is notice the small things right in front of us
Posted by: m on October 4, 2005 04:45 AMKeri, strange to come to your site today and find you talking about wings, as I spent most of last night working on a design for my printmaking class. I chose to illustrate my favourite poem - "Birdwings", by Rumi. It goes:
Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
up to where you're bravely working.
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,
here's the joyful face you've been waiting to see.
Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.
Your deepest presence is in every small
contracting and expanding,
the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated
as birdwings.
~~~
Much love,
Emily.
I love todays quote reminds me of one of my favourites
"To dismiss intellect is foolish to let it dominate is worse"
which is by the Australian illustrator Michael Leunig who in many ways reminds me of yourself.
Posted by: Kate on October 3, 2005 07:36 PMThanks for the Village Homes link. What a neat spot. I have been thinking about housing solutions since the hurricanes. I picked up a book this weekend called "Superbia". It details the development of green neighborhoods, designed to encourage interaction with neighbors as well as reduced impact on the Earth. I hope our leaders look for intelligent solutions in rebuilding the south. It was nice to see that such neighborhoods are truly "sustainable".
Posted by: Amber on October 3, 2005 03:28 PM