I've noticed a pattern with myself when something comes up that I didn't expect, or when I get a little overwhelmed with things I go into my large crab shell of avoidance (famous trait of the beloved cancerians). It is this avoidance that wreaks havoc on a life causing one to start a dark, perilous gypsy dance over red hot coals, (the tricky movement starts slowly at first and then speeds up into a skirt whirling frenzy). Your brain tells you that the thing you don't want to deal with will go away if you don't look at it or pay it any attention, treat it like a stray animal, don't put any food out. Avoidance builds in the chest like agent orange threatening to suffocate the pinkest of lungs. Like the air in the brown balloon-like throat of an overweight bullfrog, (can you tell I've been reading Tom Robbins lately?) I notice that when the avoidance builds up overtime I start to feel slightly hopeless, insecure, needy, weak, fearful. I feel like I am five years old wearing my pyjamas with the feet in them, holding onto my security blanket for dear life.
It may seem obvious to say that I am learning that if I just grit my teeth and speak my truth in it's simplest form, no matter what the context, (no excuse making, no elaborate embellishment, no coloring), then the universe responds with a hearty reward. The thing I fear most DOES NOT HAPPEN! But instead the opposite. Every time. Relief. Deep breathing. Peaceful feels. Invincibility shield. Powerful feels.
And yet still I forget this.
Today is a day for facing several of these things head on. When I get up the courage I attack them all at once with the subtlety of a samurai warrior.
"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -Helen Keller (this quote was written in a card from Christine.)
Posted by kerismith at August 05, 2005 11:24 AMI'm another Cancerian and I totally relate to the concept of crawling into your shell to avoid things. It can be very frustrating at times can't it!
Posted by: Georgia on August 9, 2005 12:27 AMi'm a cancer as well, and that's so true for me about the avoidance! it seems such a simple thing to stop doing, but yet it persists.
and by the way, i love this collage and the circles one above it. gorgeous.
Posted by: kat on August 8, 2005 02:41 PMIt is interesting that you liken the habit of avoiding to dance movements - I do that, too, it is why I actually call it the "dance of avoi". (yes, forgive me, probably only a foreigner can think of that as a smart wordplay :))
Posted by: stosova on August 6, 2005 11:18 PMIt's funny, but the Cancer thing about using avoidance when dealing with problems seems right on every Cancer I know (I am even married to one!).
I am Leo myself and I am more of the opposite, I think. I usually can't wait to start dealing with a problem. My issue is that I tend to rush into problem solvings a bit too fast. I think that sometimes a slower approach can foster a better strategy in the long run.
Posted by: Johanna on August 6, 2005 12:19 PMHaven't read your blog in a while, and actually popped in today because I'm avoiding getting to work on a project that has dragged on much too long. Kismet, no? Reminded me of a qoute I found in a book on screenplay writing, "Avoidance takes energy; involvement gives you energy." Viki King.
Always enjoy your blog; never fails to get me motivated.
OK HW
Posted by: Hal on August 6, 2005 08:35 AMThe collage is beautiful!
Posted by: ymke on August 6, 2005 05:42 AMAh. Avoidance. Boy do I know someone who is a master at that. Hands down *the* master. I allow myself that safety net of avoidance every now and then. I know that the limited feeling of safety it gives me will work long enough for me to overcome my fears and climb back on top again. I trust myself to always come through that way.
Posted by: Michelle on August 5, 2005 11:46 PMHi Keri,
Having lived more than four decades with fears and anxieties I am the queen of avoidance, procrastination and bury-head-in-sand syndrome. Here is a great quote (and book) by Susan Jeffers which has become somewhat of a mantra of mine whenever I feel myself recoil in anxiety:
"Feel the fear and do it anyway"
It works! Take care, Kerstin
Posted by: Kerstin on August 5, 2005 06:36 PMHEY from the South! Something just came to me while I was reading these posts. Cancer crab girls, come out of your shells and DANCE by the light of the silvery moon(funny since you are ruled by the moon) I have a couple of friends and an ex husband who are cancers, so I totally get it. I
Posted by: Pam on August 5, 2005 03:02 PMThere have been times when I have tried to avoid what I fear most and in doing that, the fear never goes away. When I force myself to go to that fearful place in my mind - really visualize it - I find it is much less threatening or dangerous than I thought. And oftentimes I find the fear completely vanishes the instant I remove my ego from it and realize that no matter what happens, I will still be me. That will not go away.
Posted by: Swirly on August 5, 2005 02:22 PMOH sister are we on the same page. stay connected. you can do this within the safety of your crabbyshell!
sending you a sharpener for your samurai's sword today...xoxoxo
I think if I knew you in real life, we'd be friends. You and I are so much alike!
Posted by: Meredith on August 5, 2005 01:33 PMI'm a Cancer and had no idea that's a trait...but it sure is true for me. Sometimes I despair that I'm never going to get over it. But all I can do is try. It's the one day at a time thing, every day, all the time.
Posted by: Amy on August 5, 2005 12:52 PMI've been feeling the same way lately while dealing with my job search. I get so intimidated by the entire process, that I just want to avoid it at all costs. But I know if I do, I will remain without a job or an income.
I love that Helen Keller quote, it's so true!
Posted by: Milly on August 5, 2005 12:18 PM