You can see the evidence of time passing in the forest. There are stories everywhere. It is summer moving through it's cycles and as I walk I count the changes. The grass is higher, up to my waist. The bullrushes are tall and brown, like big hotdogs on sticks. The milkweeds are finished blooming and the pods are large and filled with seeds, (as a child my grandmother would dry the pods out and paint the insides with nailpolish, her own strange decorating invention, I remember being amazed that there could be other exciting applications for the bright pink polish.) The apple tree limbs are weighed down by fruit like old men wearing heavy coats. I crunch over discarded apples with my shoes and listen as they make a cracking sound.
The cure for all that ails you can always be found in a long walk. One of my favourite teachers told me as much many years ago. If you have a problem just start out in any direction and keep walking until a solution or a feeling of weightless drifts in. I go to the woods to be released from all of the weight of daily life. The worries about money, the leaky pump, the waiting to hear if a manuscript is accepted (or rejected), the bills, the missing, the procrastinating, the insecurities that plague me, the leaving.
and I walk. I am wearing my brown cordoroy pants and they make a swishing sound as I go. Swish, swish. You just keep going. Until a shift starts to happen.
At first it might be that you notice a tree that you hadn't noticed before. You bend down to touch the wiry ferns. Your mind clings to the heavy stuff because it has a habit of doing so. Keep walking.
Somedays it feels like I could walk for days. Swish, swish, swish. I will do twenty laps if I have to. I wonder what the animals think of this strange girl who walks in circles. The one who walks as if her hair were on fire. (Maybe that would be my native name.)
I think of the long quote by sculptor Sol Lewitt who wrote to artist Eva Hess (whose work I have been studying lately), when she was feeling stuck with her work and her life. At the end of which he says, "relax and let everything go to hell." That is what it means to let go.
We have to be willing to experience chaos and laugh about it.
Posted by kerismith at July 25, 2005 10:54 PMI just think you Rock!! thanks for your inspiration and Ive been trying to find your book but everyone is out of it (which is good for you, but bad for me), Online somewhere...??
Posted by: Lilia Meredith on July 28, 2005 04:48 PMWhen I went for my walk yesterday morning I carried my dictaphone to record what the whole walk sounded like. It made me tune in specifically to the sounds along the way. Today I tuned in to the smells. Paying attention to each sense separately gives a whole new experience of the walk, even along the same route.
Posted by: Elspeth on July 28, 2005 03:43 PMI have walks like this. I just thought I'd share one of the last ones I had. I was in France, away from my boyfriend for a month and with a bunch of strangers, wondering what I was doing with my life. I started walking and I walked 20 miles. I had many mini adventures along the way. Here are pictures. I know it's not the same as being there. http://angrypirate.com/photos/france2005/big_walk/
Posted by: Alanna on July 28, 2005 03:14 PMLovely. :)
Posted by: Swirly on July 28, 2005 12:44 PMI am always amazed how a walk will change me, refresh my mind, recharge my battery. my body seems to be humming the moment I walk in the door after a nice long walk.
and I love the painting/collage. really really strong.
Posted by: andrea j on July 28, 2005 12:32 PMBeautiful words.
Posted by: Leesa on July 28, 2005 11:24 AMvery nice post!
Posted by: fin on July 28, 2005 11:03 AMI believe it is the walking I have perhaps been missing out of my day. You have made me think about this, and how it can effect our lives. Something so simple as walking. Thank you for always inspiring and sharing here. You are an amazing and gifted writer!
Posted by: SHelley on July 28, 2005 07:55 AMI had your writing on my mind today as I set out on a local beach walk, hoping to work my mind out of its current funk. I walked further down the beach than I had ever been before, going by little kids learning to surf, families playing together... then I spotted a pod of dolphins on the horizon and all was well with the world.
Posted by: Alice on July 28, 2005 03:31 AMWhat an eloquent statement that sums up my life philosophy far better than I could--just add "birds" to the mix and I'm there. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Posted by: Gwyn on July 27, 2005 12:37 PMI'M SURE ENJOYING MY VISITS To YOUR WRITING * art
Do come by some time and visit life in our desert.
Lots of photos
Peace,
MB
Isn't it sad? I'm so moved by lovely posts like this one, and want to hurry out and go for a soothing walk and drink a pot of tea. But, living near a large city, I hesitate to venture out into the wilderness on my own. Such a shame that in a culture of modernity, our basic rights are tainted by fear. I'll have to find my relaxation vicariously through all of you and your walks.
Posted by: Jillian on July 26, 2005 11:32 PMKeri,
I'm relatively new to this whole blog thing. Just started one of my own awhile ago, and have been searching others with some depth to them. Your writing, especially in this post, is articulate and attentive to the small and beautiful things of daily life. And, as everyone else seems to agree, "relax and let everything go to hell" sums things up quite beautifully! Thanks.
Keri, these are exactly the words I needed to read today. I love your writing, you posts become astoundingly deeper and richer each day, thank you for being here and for being so inspiring.
What a wonderufl quote by Sol Lewitt. Eva Hesse is one of my favorite artists, a quote of hers I remember is; "There isn't a rule. I don't want there to be any rules in art."
I liked that one, it helped/helps me remember that I can find my own way/voice/vision, not someone else's. She became fierce in her determination and in centering into her art and who she was.
What you wrote today also made me realize I am not walking far or long enough these days!
Take care,
T. x
p.s. Could you tell me the reference inwhich you found Lewitt?
this is my new favorite quote: "relax and let everything go to hell." how difficult that can be to do until i say it!! i am off to see what everything going to hell looks like!
xoxoxo pixie
Posted by: pixie on July 26, 2005 03:19 PMI used to walk all the time, but this summer has been terrible; a month of rain, followed by a month of sweltering heat. Theoretically we're in for a better spell now. I need to get out, and your post reminded me of why.
Posted by: Amy on July 26, 2005 02:49 PMI power walk every night and there are times I tear the pavement and trails up (I've even scared a rabbit or two) :) Releasing as I go.
Posted by: D. on July 26, 2005 02:17 PMha ha ha ha
Posted by: keri Smith on July 26, 2005 12:25 PMNow letting everything go to hell.
It feels good Houston, over.
*beep*
Strange....Brenda Ueland came to my mind as I was writing in my journal this morning....I am assuming you know of her book....If You Want to Write....I think she walked 6 miles per day.... (for her 93 years on this planet)...to enter the "zone" you allude to on your walks....I am needing the encouragement to resume my walking....exactly today....Thank you....
Susan
Posted by: Susan Jonsson on July 26, 2005 11:16 AMmy favorite quote by my namesake (or wait, am i his namesake? I can never remember.) I forgive my mother for not knowing anything about him other than his name just for this quote.
"Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it...but by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill...If one just keeps on walking everything will be all right."
-Soren Kierkegaard
Did you grandmother hang the milkweeds or just place them on things? Hmmm.
Posted by: Soren on July 26, 2005 10:47 AM"Relax and let everything go to hell."
Oh, I love that quote. Could use it right now. I don't have leaky pump issues, but I know about waiting to hear about a manuscript .... waiting ... waiting ... waiting for my agent to call me... with good news ... please?
And I certainly know about the money worries and the bills. Hmmm... time to go for a walk in the woods. There are actually some nice spots to explore in Toronto!
Posted by: patricia on July 26, 2005 07:24 AMRelax and let everything go to hell... I really like that. :)
Posted by: Ruthie on July 26, 2005 06:43 AMRelax and let everything go to hell... I really like that. :)
Posted by: Ruthie on July 26, 2005 06:43 AMI walk to work every morning at 6am. I try to take a diferent route each time - it takes me two and a half hours and if I don't do it, I spend the day feeling like I've forgotten something. It is the only time I meditate. Your walk reminds me of that. Thanks for all your wonderful words, Yasmin
Posted by: yasmin on July 26, 2005 06:21 AM:)
Posted by: Nicole on July 26, 2005 03:37 AM