Just the act of putting words on paper help to pull me up onto my feet again. That and a few words sent by a chorus of strangers, and also some friends. I find myself saying thank you a lot these days. Sometimes you send words out into the world not knowing what they are capable of, such a simple thing. I am still amazed by it. I am not trying to do anything special, only share some of my process in this sometimes messy life.
My husband left for California today, driving across most of the US with a full car (mostly books I think). I am sad for the moment, but I will be joining him at the end of August (after dealing with all of the things that one deals with when moving). Back to hearing his voice every night on the phone.
The woods are calling to me now. I have needed some alone time, to just be with my heart, to process, to let go, to feel o.k., to find some wisdom. There is another funeral party today at the legion across the street from my house. Men dressed in dark suits, women in their 'funeral only' dresses (black with white flowers pinned over their breast), and I am reminded once again that life can be fleeting. How quickly we forget even when we tell ourselves, "I promise to live better from now on". I say this after every funeral I attend, and trust me, there have been a lot. I am convinced that we should all attend funerals on a weekly basis just to remind ourselves of this, (though I did know a funeral director once and he wasn't any better off for it, arguably worse.)
So maybe instead what is needed is a constant visual re-affirmation of life. Just the words...
I think I will put that on a shirt and wear it around.
Posted by kerismith at July 20, 2005 03:25 PMI like the shirt, Keri! I've considered making a shirt with my beckon to my ideal mate - like a wearable personals ad - it's proven quite difficult to get into words...
Loving your site... it keeps getting better, and better. I mean, a couple years ago it was good, now, it's amazing. I always feel better after having read your blog. You ARE alive.
Many thanks for opening up your heart!
Posted by: Amanda on July 22, 2005 02:06 PMThis is such a great start to my morning. To bring what is important right smack in my face as I begin my day with my children. I think I will treasure this day even more(regardless of how tired I am).
And those words need to be on a shirt! I may try that! Let us know if you create one. I would love to have one from you!
Thank you!
Posted by: Shelley on July 22, 2005 08:44 AMI received your thank you last week ;)
I think you're right on target with attending funerals more frequently. I avoid them because they remind me of my own mortality. As if that's a bad thing! I feel so heavy after a funeral, but then I feel grateful that God has allowed me to walk this earth for one more day. I suppose it's the heaviness that's hardest to get past. The finality of it all. But then comes the graditude.
As for extending kindness in the form of words, I'm all for it and am a frequent participant. Life is sweetest when we are grateful and let it be known.
Take care, I'll be thinking of you.
Posted by: D. on July 21, 2005 03:22 PMKeri I'm sure if you designed a t-shirt with this life slogan and your creative doodles on it - we would surely buy one...a great little movement to get started. an awareness and gratitude for the day, t-shirt. Sounds good.
Posted by: tracy on July 21, 2005 01:39 PMI have never been one to count my blessings when faced with other people's suffering or death. On the contrary, it seems to add to my own anxieties and fears about the fragility of life.
I was once told that I have the gift of empathy but sometimes I wish I hadn't because it means that I suffer terribly with the world whenever bad things happen. With maturity I am learning to be more detached about the things that I have no control over, it is the only way I can find some inner peace.
I fear death because of the pain it inflicts on myself and those I love, and because I cannot get my head around the "nothingness".
I wish I could believe in God but so far he has eluded me.
Isn't what you are saying about being alive TODAY and living life in the present moment one of the basics of Bhuddism? I don't know much about it, do you?
In the end, what gives me comfort in this uncertain world where only death is certain, is love and being a good person who strives to enrich the lives of the people around her. That makes me feel alive and glad today.
Thank you for being so alive and real to us. The world IS big, and aside from living and enjoying the moments (whether happy, sad, or otherwise) there isn't much we can do to prevent events from unfolding around us. Death is a constant reminder to me that I have a limited time on this planet and I need to experience as much as possible. To laugh & be happy, to learn, to mourn, to dance whenever I feel the urge, to embrace my family and friends regardless of our differences, and most importantly to love.
As the next part of your journey unfolds I wish you the very best. :)
Posted by: heather on July 21, 2005 09:48 AMoh yes. i say this & it really helps when the m.s. flares up, when i am dizzy, my arm burns or my drawing hand fingers don't want to work...
another i say to myself "just be happy you have a job" - the job ain't perfect - but it feeds me, my family and allows for so much more
we are blessed, we are alive
so glad to have seen your interview over at the drawing club... gorilla art... hmmm, you might be onto something :)
patty
My cousin died suddenly a few weeks ago in a terrible plane crash (he was only 19) and it has affected me and my whole familiy even though we live on opposite coasts and I haven't seen him in over five years. Just the shock of realizing that something awful can happen to anyone at any moment has made me realize that it would be horribly wasteful of me not to live a full life while I still have one. I'm just sad that it had to take my cousin dying for me to realize that.
Posted by: Carolyn on July 21, 2005 09:17 AMDeath is such a *hidden* affair in our society. You are right, if we were faced with the reality of death more often, we would cherish each day that leads to the last.
Posted by: Michelle on July 20, 2005 10:45 PMI am thinking of you my friend...sending hugs and sharing your joy in simply being alive in this world...and being able to share this journey with YOU. xoxo
Posted by: Swirly on July 20, 2005 10:22 PMI am thinking of you my friend...sending hugs and sharing your joy in simply being alive in this world...and being able to share this journey with YOU. xoxo
Posted by: Swirly on July 20, 2005 10:22 PMkeri, that shirt idea is fantastic. i would want to wear it every day. perhaps you should look into having a few made and selling them on here? i would certainly buy one.
Posted by: kristin on July 20, 2005 07:12 PMJust to be
is a blessing.
Just to live
is holy.
~Abraham Joshua Heschel
(1907-1972)
Great idea! Mind if I do it too? I'd like to spread some cheer throughout the world.
Posted by: Kelly on July 20, 2005 04:29 PMdear keri,
i have also had the experience of attending more than my share of funerals lately. like you, it reminds me of both , how fleeting and precious life is and also how important is to be truly present in your life. when i think of living each day as though it's my last i think about how i'm not interested in cramming everything into one day (although at times that's what i think i want) but i know that i want to be truly there for the people i love,maybe for a stranger in need, i want to say what i need to say at the moment it needs to be said(no fear), and i want to really experience all the joy i can find. some days the joy is as simple as a great cup of tea. nevertheless, life is a gift and it's one we should enjoy and keep in mind that the possibilities are limitless...