What a wonderful, eloquent piece of how many people feel (me included) about listening and talking. Thank you.

I, too, had read the John Francis interview. It does give one pause re one's own listening attitudes and behaviors. I loved in his story how there was no huge celebration or milestone marker or anything special he did when he began talking again...how he simply boarded a bus and after 17 years, began to speak...

Right speech and deep listening are both so important. But I find I have the opposite tendency -- to say so little that it functions as a defense mechanism to keep people from getting to know me. I think this is why I try so hard to post regularly to my LJ: to keep the sharing bi-directional.

Still, I prefer to err on the side of listening more than talking. But not through any virtue of mine; I simply feel safer that way, less exposed.

i have to make it a point to remember to listen, but at least i try.
we are all too quick to talk sometimes.

I know I do not listen as I should. I find that I rush to say what is on my mind, often interrupting others. I realize after that I have done this. Usually it is done innocently, because I am passionate about the topic being discussed and feel the need to express my opinion. Yet too often I leave thinking (as you said) I talked to much during that visit, I need to listen more! My husband is the opposite, he is a good listener, very thoughtful when he speaks! I admire him very much!

Thank you for inspiring me to work on this part of me!

Thanks for your post. This was good for me to read. I find myself lately in conversation interrupting others because I am so afraid that I am going to forget what I have to say if I don't say it NOW. I am the kind of person, particularly during confrontation, who shuts down and remembers what I meant to say or should have said, later on.

I am also finding at work that I need to think things through on my own - not aloud in a brainstorming session with a group. Part of me needs to listen better, to really hear others, and part of me needs to have tougher skin so as not to imagine that I am being criticized.

I have always felt at home while writing too. Where I can say whatever I want and not feel judged. Where I can express myself in a multitude of ways. Where I am not better or less than others. Just me, my voice, my experience, and my dreams.

Keri - very interesting. John Francis just came and gave a talk here on the island where I live. I didn't go though - but my two friends (let's just say they are the queens of filling every inch of every air space with words). They found it truly amazing. I find it amazing too. I never have not spoken for a whole day since I was born - the thought of doing 17 is mind boggling.

Women love talking. Women love gathering. That's why we are champion chatterers and have lots of stuff. Every now and then we try to declutter our lives off the things we have (garage sales!), but what about decluttering our communications? Don't we often love the sound of our own voice so that our words and their self reflecting meanings might fill a void within? If we feel, truly, whole as a person then we have amazing capacity to listen. I find that I tend to listen when I am interested ... in the person, or the subject. And reading, isn't that listening?

By the way, Keri, and please forgive me if you have mentioned this already ... do you speak Spanish? Because if you are learning a language in the native country you WILL listen a lot more in the beginning than talk ... Spanish is a beautiful language and I wish I wasn't so self conscious about my inability to roll the rrrrrr because I am moving to Southern California in two months (from Europe) where there will be lots of Spanish speaking ...

very true keri. just this morning i took a road trip with matt with the intent on having good conversation instead of what i usually do (find something to occupy my hands or mind; crocheting or reading). i wanted to have "real" conversation. i don't feel as though i listen to him enough, or for that matter listen to anyone enough....listen well enough to read between the lines. when you date someone who is introverted and not too talkative about feelings, when they do talk you must listen. i don't. i'm talkative and always wanting to voice my thoughts. this is my goal this weekend, to be constantly aware of what is and isn't being said. my lips are sealed. thank you for this post.

Your insight today gave me such an opportuntity to reflect on my listening in particular. Love words, to talk, to discuss and write. I worry that I hear, instead of listen. That I do not use these opportunities to authentically connect.

Love your Emily Carr quote, I am going to track down that book. She is perhaps my favourite artist. I grew up in Northern BC and her work brings me back there, like nothing else. Living in Ottawa, we visit the National Gallery often. My little boys even know that we have to visit the Canadian collection each and every time. :)

Wonderful post, Keri! That's why I like writing, too. It slows down my brain and helps me cut through the clutter to what I really want to say. Sometimes it takes quite a few iterations, really. I aspire to some day be the type of person who can speak (or write) directly and with clarity, with an economy of words. I know some people like that, and they always leave me in awe. I have a long way to go myself.