I spent Sunday purging my studio. It was long overdue. Possibly years overdue. I went through all of the hidden things that you don't see anymore, those things you have been carrying around for years and suddenly look at them and say, "why have I been keeping this?" (some examples, lego, crackle varnish, six different rulers, eight copies of tearsheets from a job done eight years ago (one that you can't stand to look at), a sewing kit full of art supplies that has sentimental value but never gets opened.) One thing I have learned for myself is that if i don't see it, I don't use it. And I don't believe in having anything in my life that I don't use. At one point I found myself overwhelmed, surrounded by piles and piles of 'stuff', with that feeling of "what do I do next?"
I pulled out an old oil paint box from when I was in art school. One of those plywood cases that still had that wonderful slightly acidic smell of turpentine. I opened it up and proceeded to throw out six tubes of paint that had become mummified. I looked at the box and put it in the "garage sale" pile. I started thinking about my daily walk through Chinatown to art school, arms weighed down with my tool box of art supplies, drawing board, and paper in a large black leather portfolio. Portable. I could create anywhere. I loved opening my box and looking at all of my supplies, my favourite pencil with the soft lead, kneadable eraser that I shaped into animals, new brushes, scissors, the tools of creation. How did this simple box morph into an entire room filled with containers of things that I don't even use? I suppose I know the answer to that, the irony here is that when you are in art school you long for a studio that is all your own, one that you can fill with blank paper, canvas, and endless tubes of paint. You long for a space that will be covered in colourful splotches, never having to clean up fully because you are an artist! Which is great, but I felt it was missing something. Simplicity maybe. Part of me wonders if the studio thing has been more about me wanting to feel like an artist. I love my space and need to be alone to create, but lately feel weighed down by the hoarding. (Not surprising as I'm thinking about travelling soon.)
I pulled the box out of the "garage sale" pile. And then I did something crazy. I filled it with all of the tools that I use mindfully when working. I filled it and glued little quotes to the sides, I put in pictures of things that inspire me, I wrote my name on the front of the box. After an hour I was completely obsessed with this paring down, what do I really need?
As an artist I find I do much better when I only have a few things to choose from as opposed to hundreds. This goes against what we are told in our culture, that more is better. Many times when I have limitations there is less of a tendency to get overwhelmed and take on the "whole" of the project.
"Limitation is what differentiates a flood from a lake. In the making of things, limitations allow you to choose from something rather than everything." ~Corita Kent
The box gives me a simplified structure, a framework. There are five pencils, not twenty five.
And then I got rid of almost everything else, all of the tubs of paint that I don't use, all of the old brushes, all of the mediums and irridescent paints. And it felt amazing. I love everything in the box. And I know there may be a time when I want to paint large again, and then I will get a new set of paints for the job.
But right now I feel so much lighter.
Posted by kerismith at May 16, 2005 08:57 AMI love your wooden box! I've actually created a similar supply box for my bookbinding supplies. I used a hard, plastic case that used to contain a hand drill. It's perfect because it has small compartments within it (for the cord, the rechargeable battery, etc.) so I can divide everything neatly. I can fit a good amount of supplies in it and always bring it along if I leave the house for several days, in case I get a sudden urge to create. I love it!
Posted by: Natalie on May 19, 2005 11:42 AMThanks. I've been burning with the urge to totally de-clutter this year and I'm trying to gather courage. I grew up with a pack rat, and I AM really good at using little whatevers to make nice little gifties or cards or whatever, but really, I only use the fresh stuff, what's at the top of the pile.
It's all a good reminder that I should have the confidence that I will be able to create and make lovely things even without all those half-broken, half-dead, salvagable "could-be" items.
And that my creative sparks fly when there are two things on the table in front of me, challenging me to find a way to use them best, not when it's stacked with endless possibilities.
It also reminds me of a difference I've always tried to explain about people I knew in Germany. I lived in East Berlin in the 90s, when everything was open but still very different on the two sides. The teenagers I knew in western Berlin were always very bored. What's to do, nothing's to do, it's all the same, boring, boring. My pals who had grown up in East Germany had been experiencing from early on that if you wanted to have some fun, you should make it. With the western kids, we'd go to the same cafe and have the same conversations day after day. With my eastern pals, we made our own board games, I made a mini-loom out of a board and some nails, we would dye and cut and re-make thrift store dresses, we would invent our own recipes for pasta sauces, make postcards for each other...
Somehow, I make a more intersting painting if I'll I've got is a funny little leftover bit of one color than if I've got a drawerful of leftovers and fresh supplies that have to be assembled and sorted and opened and closed and and and
Posted by: Amber on May 18, 2005 10:45 AMWohoo for you! That box/bag is great and I really understand what you mean here. I long for a studio, but try to be content with my life and my little space in the living room. Whereever YOU are, right? It will be the right place! What ever you can carry, will have to do and probably will do.
Good luck with summer adventures!
Posted by: Hanna on May 18, 2005 10:19 AMI'm just looking at the picture, trying (I'm curious) to figure out what supplies are in there. Lots of ink, at least! I'm very messy too and this idea is a tempting one, although at the moment I'm just enjoying having my own desk with my own mess. I used to share a small aprtment with my boyfriend, and not having a place of your own, with or without mess, was stressful.
I love my desk. It needs a good tidying, though!
I am a 17 year-old american female from chicago. When i found your blog i breathed a sigh of relief. I go to a city highschool, and i often feel very let down by the lack of inspiration and passion the people there have. I recently began even questioning the validity of what i believed.
I was raised by an artist mother, and i was always told to watch sunsets and express myself when i was younger, and those traits have followed me heavily into my teenage years. My journal is bursting apart with pictures and lyrics and drawings, but in the past month, i have asked myself many times, "Am i being silly? Sshould i just give up my creative obsessions, and follow the easier path?"
But thank you so much for your writings. They have inspired me to keep up my thoughts and painting, and laughing, and dancing, and tea drinking.
Love, happiness, and health
all the love
Posted by: Kirsten on May 17, 2005 06:30 PMI just can't seem to keep thing clean and straight when I work. If I'm writing my computer desk has stacks of books and papers. If I'm doing jewelry, then beads and wire are everywhere. I thought I was having company a few weeks ago, so I cleaned up my little bead corner that's in our family room, and two days later it was chaos again. But, yes, for the brief period of time between clean and chaos, it's nice.
Posted by: Tammy on May 17, 2005 03:29 PMI love to purge. I am also a collector (of all sorts of quirky things) but love to 'clean house', especially when it comes to my work/art space. I enjoy putting together 'supply pouches' so as to be ready the moment I need a little adventure. I am enjoying the pic of your case... all the neat little compartments filled with all sorts of supplies... open and so inviting. I have been clicking on your blog just to see that picture of your case. something about it makes me happy.
Posted by: andrea j on May 17, 2005 03:29 PMI did away with studio years ago. I have plenty of room for one, but I don't want one. I work in my living room, in the heart of my house. I can look out on the street, I don't feel hidden away in some room where I feel forced to work.
Posted by: eliane on May 17, 2005 01:56 PMI feel inspired by your entry today, as I'm moving out of the apartment I've lived in the last three years of college I find myself overwhelmed by all the "stuff" i've accumulated. Also, I'm planning a graduation trip for myself to Italy, and I've been trying to figure out ways to carry the least amount of things so I can actually enjoy the trip, and not be bogged down by heavy suitcases. This purging makes me realize, just as you did, what is essential, vital, and necessary. Thanks for a motivational entry! Jillian
Posted by: Jillian on May 17, 2005 12:40 PMI'm right now being forced to work on my studio which is being retrofitted for AC. It has become not only a pile of unused art junk, but also home office, and storage for extra stuff. The walls are horrible from the last owner, and I want to put a darkroom sink in. Since I've had to move my main creating items out for the AC, I've realized how little I actually need to work. And I'm excited to renovate my studio and get rid of the clutter.
Posted by: Theresa on May 17, 2005 10:16 AMthat is a wonderful entry.
xx
I just moved from one walk in closet in my apartment to another, and I went through my stuff, and got rid of a lot of things. I'm loving my new space, and want to actually get things up on the walls that inspire me this time (i didn't do it in my last studio area!) I love your portable kit! soooo cool.
Posted by: joy madison on May 17, 2005 03:50 AMHallelujah! I am in the midst of packing for my trip home to Australia. Can I say 'overwhelmed?' Yes I too have the hoards of creative stuff, that I am going to find very hard to part with. but alas it must be done.
Congratulations.
You have inspired me.
{r}
Posted by: Rita on May 17, 2005 12:08 AMI know exactly how you feel; I too have spent the last few days purging my little homey haven: my home office. I found pieces of writing and art that I completed when I was in Kingergarten! Although I am extremely sentimental and nearly shed a tear or too when parting with some nostalia-invoking items, I too feel so much lighter this week. My office looks twice as big, no piles of rubbish hide the inviting rug anymore, and my bookshelves are orderly enough to actually peruse again.
I can inhale, I can exhale. I love it!
Posted by: lisa on May 16, 2005 07:29 PMI hope I didn't exceed your comment limit! :)
Posted by: Abby on May 16, 2005 03:56 PMThe portable studio is a very appealing idea. I've just finished art school and am actually pretty happy to find myself with so much stuff. I am in the middle of a love affair with my studio. I had a crisis about 6 months ago, feeling buried by all my stuff, but I have, for the most part, managed to find a place for everything through the use of multiple, cheap, stackable and fairly unattractive :) plastic bins, and cleaning up is actually a pretty pleasant experience as a result. I have collected so many varied tools and supplies that the artsy-crafty-creative world seems to be my oyster. At the same time, however, the wealth of possibilities is overwhelming, too. I could gild something or marble paper or experiment with pen and ink or... or... or... agh! The possiblities are exciting and paralyzing at the same time. Lately, I've been thinking about having a big art party to celebrate my recent graduation. I could set up multiple creative stations where all these rarely used things might become productive. Linocuts here, Sculpey over there, watercolor in that corner, bookbinding in the other corner, Gocco printing, beading, knitting, coloring (for the kiddies), cyanotypes outside...
I really like your portable studio, though, I've found myself at a loss when deciding what to take on trips and such. How neat to have a creative suitcase kept packed at all times, ready for spontaneous portable creation at a moment's notice! Hmmm...
Posted by: Abby on May 16, 2005 03:55 PMI'm just imagining going to your garage sale.....sigh :)
Posted by: Alana on May 16, 2005 03:50 PMahhhh. just what i needed to hear. thanks!
Posted by: Jenny on May 16, 2005 03:29 PMthis is so uncannily synchronistic to my life right now. my art studio is so filled up with art supplies that i can't even use it! it is like a storage closet instead of an art studio!i want to purge, but feel paralyzed, overwhelmed, anxious about getting rid of anything that could be useful. something also very synchronistic, check out oprah.com about hoarding, read what the shrink says about hoarding being a form of perfectionism and creativity, feeling paralyzed with fear to throw anything away because you are an artist, a good person, and you can see the beauty and the possibility in EVERYTHING! love to you, chrissy
Posted by: chrissy on May 16, 2005 02:08 PMI've learned that when you have less to work with, you will be more creative. You figure out how to create something using the few things you have in new and different ways. I like to see everthing I've got to work with when I start a project too, but that's no longer possible. There is truly something to be said for working out of a confined painter's box. To me it says, "Here's what I have to work with, now let's get started".
Posted by: Jane on May 16, 2005 02:00 PMyou can always donate extra art supplies to local art schools or art organizations too
Posted by: you know who on May 16, 2005 12:46 PMgreat idea! and one I need to try! (I have 25 pencils in my bag right now, duuuummmmbb of me)
thanks for the tip and for the inspiration...
best
kerri--thanks for this. such a good reminder--looking forward to reading what spain inspires in you!
Posted by: beastlysum on May 16, 2005 11:45 AMInstead of a garage sale, you should do an online auction. Maybe you could donate some of the proceeds (if it gets large enough, which I think it would!) to charity. How exciting- to bid on supplies chosen and used by a REAL artist!!
Posted by: Chel Micheline on May 16, 2005 11:37 AMI know that feeling of lightness Keri - and I crave it so. I also love that you took something old and made it new again - it has a story through you.
Posted by: Ali on May 16, 2005 11:17 AMYes, I want to know where & when for the garage sale too LOL. But really I think you are on to something.... I get so much guilt from my seldom used art supplies, it stifles the creativity.
Posted by: Jenni on May 16, 2005 11:07 AMi love your creativity case, suitcase...how could i not!!
when i was in art school i had a paintbrush i really liked i used it alot in exclusion to others, my brother though this kinda crazy and one day bought me some more...funny.
you've given me a great incentive to do the same purging of the art room/mess room.
I've been stuck for quite a long time, feeling squashed down by all the STUFF I've been hoarded in case "I might use it some day"
thanks for the push to get rid of it
Posted by: Janice on May 16, 2005 10:18 AMHello... I am a lurker but I would absolutley be there for your garage sale! Wow! Are you going to be able to give out details of the where and when? My town never has garage sales with this kind of stuff!
And good for you for going the urge to purge. If I could only do the same thing with my closet...