We start out whole. Complete. Along the way, we may feel that something is wrong, or missing. We aren't the way we'd like to be or the way we think we should be. A crossroads, a new stage in life, a turning point, a crisis, when we feel we may crack, or we do crack, can be a difficult, frightening time.
And, sometimes we deliberately crack our own bowl.
With time and great care and tender patience, we can reexamine the pieces, knowing that when we are ready, a solution will come. We can glue the pieces back together.
This bowl looks far more interesting, more beautiful than before it broke. The pieces are the same, but it's a different bowl than when I started.
-Sue Bender fr. Everyday Sacred
I am spending time examining my new bowl. Getting used to a new life. Deep at the root of it I find that the person I am so afraid of losing is still there. A young girl. She is still sitting on the floor drawing and painting and enjoying the present moment. She does not worry about the unknown because it does not affect her. Her only job is to see what is right in front of her at any given moment.
I have been in that place that most creative people go, so many ideas and projects to start. Excited and wanting to do them all at once, but not knowing where to start. Bursting with ideas, unable to focus. It is a great feeling at times, though anxious. MUST DO, MUST DO.
I know what the solution is.
To let the girl sit and draw and paint. Enjoy the warm breeze. Swim in the pond. Let the ideas bubble up on their own and tell me what step to take next, if indeed a step needs to be taken at all. Ideas cannot be forced out in a mad rush. It is the part of me that looks at other people's careers and compares and says, 'i should be doing more' that wants to push. To this part I say, "it is o.k. we need some time to just be right now. Time for vacation."
\Va*ca"tion\, n. [F., fr. L. vacatio a being free from a duty, service, etc., 1. The act of vacating; of no force.
of no force.
time for daydreaming, reading, and treating myself. yes.
of no force.
Posted by kerismith at July 22, 2004 12:53 PMalthough this quote speaks of love...your post reminded me of it. i have applied it to many areas of my life. i found it a few months ago when i desperately needed something to keep me from falling apart.
"Hold fast to whatever fragments of love are left, for sometimes a mosaic is more beautiful than an unbroken pattern." ~Dawn Powell
Posted by: celisa on July 28, 2004 10:25 PMand why is it SO hard!!!?
Posted by: fern on July 23, 2004 01:57 PMMy bowl is still missing a few chips ... I need to look for them and put them back in place so that I may be whole again. The same old bowl, yet altogether new!
Posted by: Poppy on July 23, 2004 10:40 AMi dreamt about the bowl last night. i was asking a friend if she had seen it, she replied that she had. i commented that it was a beautiful bowl, and even though it had nicks and cracks in it because it had been broken and put back together a few times, it was that that made it beautiful.
Posted by: chlamygirl on July 23, 2004 07:14 AMis there an estimated time-and-patience-period in which you should be able to put the pieces back together before there's nothing you can do any more? what if one piece is missing and can't be found? just wondering..
i envy you for doing what you love and being so brave and creative and great and alive.
Posted by: kim on July 23, 2004 04:21 AMYes, I've found that if you let that young girl guide you, she'll lead you to exactly where you need to be.
Posted by: Chelly on July 23, 2004 12:45 AMThis reminds me of a recent Sunbeam from my favorite magazine, the Sun:
"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling in the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." -- Barbara Bloom
Enjoy your vacation! Your book vastly improved the quality of my recent week off from work. May you find as much inspiration as you've given others.
Posted by: Liz on July 22, 2004 08:55 PMABSOLUTLEY! You said it sistah! :)
Posted by: Kristin on July 22, 2004 04:15 PMAnd sometimes you find pieces that have been missing for a very very long time. Some pieces you didn't even realize were missing. That is what's been happening over here for the last year, or so. I can so relate.
Posted by: megan on July 22, 2004 02:30 PMI love the bowl metaphor. It's perfect (in a glued together way).
Posted by: penelope on July 22, 2004 02:14 PMThis is perfectly timed for me, as just this morning I got word that a project that has been my heart & soul & stymied for two years is about to be released into the world. I feel I have been in a deep, harsh winter, and finally springtime is thawing me out. I am right where I need to be--my album is coming out!! A friend heard a song of mine on the radio this morning--I am released from my bowl & ready to share the fruits with the world.
Keep doing your heart's work--you RULE.
love,
Summer
Beautiful illustration Keri and I love how you express yourself. So close to my own thoughts and experiences. Thanks.
Posted by: PInky on July 22, 2004 01:27 PMBeautiful illustration Keri and I love how you express yourself. So close to my own thoughts and experiences. Thanks.
Posted by: PInky on July 22, 2004 01:27 PM