Amen girl! I've had a rep since 1987 simply because I was too scared, and uninterested in negotiating my own deals, collection etc.
Even with that being done, I have waited the longest 7 months to be paid by a reputable company!
I will soon be on my own, by choice, and am looking forward to the growing experience I am now ready to have.
Who better to negotiate my life than myself? I do find it true that procrastination, and running through negative scenarios, in my head, fear based does not give me the edge and confidence I desire.
Best to be kinder with oneself. There is always a solution, it is never as bad as you think.
And what a sense of accomplishment when you succeed!
Thanks Keri, as usual just what we need to hear to know that we are not alone.

Hi Keri -- i'd like to join in the chorus of thank you's for this post. i do like to believe that most creative people are as "broken" as i am. But maybe it's just people in general... thanks for helping me feel more normal. It's easy to become a mental health hypochondriac isn't it?

Being a very nervous person I have this trouble all the time even when invoicing customers for doing their web sites for them. I feel guilty when relaxing, I get butterflys when talking to people (even people I've known for a while) but I know it doesn't come across that I'm nervous because people I've spoken to said I seem quite confident! We all tend to worry a little too much about silly things that are second nature to most people.

Keri,

I've been been following your site for a while now. This post made me laugh because last night I stayed up late typing an invoice for a job that I could have invoiced a week ago. Which means I've been in a tizzy for almost 2 weeks. And although my main contact with the client is a friend of mine, it still isn't easy to ask for what I need. I get the butterflies, the sweats, the shakes, also known as procrastinitis.

Today I received an email in response to the invoice. I could barely bring my mouse to open it. But silly me, they said that I actually came in a couple hundred beans less than anticipated. All that worry and anxiety, all for naught. Until, of course, the check doesn't show up in 30 days...

Thanks for the winter mobile, it's lovely!

Thank you! Thank you!!!!! I have taken on new roles with my career that require me to do the same things (ask for money owed to the company, request for extensions). This gives me new hope that I can tackle it more, each time it comes up.

I'm in your camp, folks. At this very moment, 1 client in a holding pattern, 1 client MIA and 1 overdue invoice = 1 Brandy pulling out her hair wondering how the bills will get paid this week. :(

Ugh.

I'm fine with negotiating, fine with the work (I do little illustation, which is more intertwined with style and personality than design is), just bad on the collection part. I give folk 30 days, and more and more are taking the 30 days +. Grrrr... And I try to be uberprofessional, when I really want to say, "I cannot pay my bills b/c you have not paid me -or- because you have not gotten back to me to finish this @#&! project." Of course, that feels unprofessional b/c then they'd be clued into just how little work I have.

Durn it.

But Keri, I like "stand in my own truth." I gotta remember that.

Personally, I'm thinking of going to net 15 days or the 50% upon *completion*. I'm worried I'll get flack for it not being "standard" but there's something to be said for CASH FLOW. And I'm so tired of companies/clients hiding behind red tape.

Grrr...

Oh, wait...

Chin up! :^)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha!

that's good.

I was raised by self-employed parents (writer and artist). Hubby and I are now self-employed. It does strike us as phunny that in choosing this life, and wishing to avoid corporate employment, we have to, ourselves, become the entire bureaucracy.
"Hello, this is Keri calling from Accounts Receivable, Keri Smith Designs. Invoice number X435-98A is now past due. Keri from the Controller's office has advised me that this is not the first time you have neglected to make your payment on time. If you do not send payment within five days, I see no alternative but to bring this to the attention of Keri in our Legal Department. And believe me, you don't want to mess with her!...." ;-)

I have a good friend who sent me this site not because my core business is the same as yours but I too am undergoing growth through the relationship with my business. I have another good friend who has helped me with this issue so I am not particularly worried about asking for people to settle accounts. I do have other issues though that relate to valuing myself and my skills enough to ask a reasonable fee. The fee thing is but the content to learn the lesson of self worth. I figure if the issue hadn't come up with my business, the opportunity to learn the lesson would have emerged with someone I encountered. So this is not about business - it's about development of the spirit!
By the way, if you are interested - my friend wrote me a dialogue to deliver on the phone to gather overdue debts. It went something like,"Is there any reason why you have not attended to your account?" Just listen. Then listen some more. Then follow that with a long listening session! I cannot emphasise enough how long to let them talk. If they are just shirking their responsibilities, they will "hang themselves". I find that is mostly all you have to do to get what is due to you.If there is no justifiable reason, arrange to pick up the money THAT afternoon.
Otherwise, listen and acknowledge what they say. If they say they have a problem, ask why they didn't tell you at the time they could not afford your services. Restate that the money is due to YOU. Arrange to pick up part payment that afternoon and set another date to receive the balance.
Practice before you make the phone call until you feel confident!

Just about yesterday I had to deal with the same problems as you, Keri (though I'm not self-employed - yet) ...I absolutely loathe having to talk to people I don't know over the phone - as we say in Brazil, it wraps up my stomach. i fear they will laugh at me, they will not get what I want, and so on. It takes loads of courage to go ahead and do what you are supposed to do.

So congratulations on doing it -and thanks for making me feel absolutely normal again!

it's all so familiar ! Actually reading your message and all the comments made me pick up the phone to make that difficult call immediately. Unfortunately I was told to call back this afternoon so the tension is not yet gone. However, it's great to know that there are more of you out there that 'suffer' the same problems.
Hurrah for our courage of dealing with it anyway !

i always find that if i delay too long, it bites me in the rear. if i had just dealt with the issue when it came up instead of avoiding it, it would never have gotten so bad.

asking for an extension, especially. asking the day it is due is not as cool as several days before --it shows you are working on it and realize there are issues/more/etc. instead of the omigodicantbeliveitisntdoneandineeditnow!!

s

It's way past midnight here in my corner of the world, and only now did I catch up with your news. This morning, I made a weblog entry where my thoughts ran around a very related issue (that of never learning, which has to do with the pain of forcing oneself). I usually don't comment here, I only read :) but now I had to...I feel better now knowing I'm not really alone.

when i got the update email for your blog today, i thought, "hmm, awake, that seems about right."

and i can totally relate to your article. i often deal in email when I should use the phone because phone calls make me so nervous. but it's really just the anticipation, not the actual phone call that is so bad!

Claire,
Oh, that feeling when you know deep down that the art director hired the wrong person, that maybe he/she should have hired ______. How many times have I thought, "They don't really want me, they just want a "collage" style." I have never done well with a client who does not want me to think, (read: draftperson). Ack.

Thankfully this is not happening as much to me as time goes on.

Re: the quote thing
Will we ever feel like we gave the right figure?!?

What I do know, the more I stand up for myself, the more I attract the work I really want. The more I swallow my feelings and stuff them away, the more I seem to attract clients who take more than they give and push my boundaries. Coincidence?

I see myself going more and more towards self-directed work (books, products), and moving away from client directed work (editorial). It is much more fulfilling to sell my ideas and get paid for that. I'm hoping I can sustain this kind of thing.

Oh Keri -- I so know how you feel. In fact I find almost all client work really difficult and tiring because I am constantly trying to please them even if the stuff they want me to do is totally against my style/art/drift. I get tired from writing quotes because I am scared that I am asking for too much. I hate turning people down because I want to please everybody. I delay sending emails because I just want it to all go away! I thought all of this stuff would get easier with some experience - and some things have - but not everything.

i hear you, keri. i had a business before and yes the parts of me that i always hide, clearly steps out in style and forces me to address it. don't get me wrong, i have not defeated those demons yet, everyday i still fight them. but thank you for telling me that i'm not alone.

bravo to you!!

O the irony! I sought you out today, just minutes ago, in my elaborate dance of procastination, trying to avoid just what you're talking about.... requesting payment from a client! I'm heeding your advice and I'm going to tackle it the second I finish this!

I can relate to puting others fellings above my own. I do that a lot. Sometimes it needs to be done and sometimes you need to take charge. I don't like geting into arguments but I hang out with a lot of people that do. I am alwase stuck in the middle trying to stop or resolve the argument.

I don't think I could call some one up and be like "Hay um you like owe me like 3 grand" I would have to hire someone to do it. It is all good tough.

I respect that you can do that. I hate asking people for stuff. Even asking for like spare changes makes me kinda iffey. I hate being in peoples way I guess cus I hate people being in my way.

I so relate to this! and feel terrified every time
I need to ask a client for money.

I usually work myself into a frenzy, rehearse the conversation in my head (which inevitably goes badly) and absolutely hate them before I even pick up the phone.

When I finally do talk with them, it always goes better (or differently) than I expected, and realize that the anger I feel is really just at myself for being such a wimp.

so much to learn!

Sister, sing it to me.
I don't have to tell you how I know those feelings too.
Congratulations on having "stood in your truth." I am going to go find some of my own to stand in now.

Kudos!