May 23rd, 2006
a little spewing before I begin work

i am in the midst of a particularly blessed time in my life and i know it. i want to savour it all, inhale every last bit of it. even the stressful parts.
there are so many things to do in the next two months, i’m not even sure where to begin (finish a book, find a home, move across the country, adapt to a new environment while meeting major deadlines, find furniture for the home). during our monthly phone conference, when asked what i would like to manifest in the next month i said to the girls, “calmness in the midst of activity”.
hints of buddha between the nerves.
it will all get done. i will breathe into every dark corner. those places where i get all tied up in knots and panicky. i have a tendency to panic about all of the details at once, it’s part of my survival technique. i am reminding myself that none of the panicking actually helps me, it’s when i sit back and breathe and calmly do a few small things in one direction (not twenty) that it all comes together.
i sit feeling grateful for all the wonderful things that come to me and continue to come to me in recent weeks. there are moments of complete amazement. all i have done and continue to do is to put myself, my energy, and my work out into the world in a constant stream. and the rest really happens on it’s own. (maybe your doubting brain is screaming at this). there is the work, going to the blank page everyday, but there is no longer the pushing of the river. that does not really work (i have proven this many times over). if it is to happen it cannot be forced. you have to be willing to float with the current in whatever direction it tries to take you.
and that means being willing to move in directions that scare the crap out of you.

May 23 2006
12:49 pm
keri Smith writes:

keywords in the last sentence…
“being willing”

May 23 2006
12:49 pm
keri Smith writes:

keywords in the last sentence…
“being willing”

May 23 2006
1:15 pm
kerri writes:

Hi Keri,
I found your blog a few months ago while bloghopping, and I love your writing. You are insightful, funny and amazingly talented. Thank you for sharing…
and welcome to the neighborhood – I live in Latham, just a few miles from Troy. I was embarrased to find that you knew more about the surrounding towns than I did!

May 23 2006
1:15 pm
sheila writes:

oh my!
I’ve lately been looking for a sign about whether or not I should go in a direction that I’ve been thinking about — and read your post about heading in the direction you are drawn to and the universe will help you get there –
what the hell, I’ll give it a try.
Good luck in NY

May 23 2006
1:28 pm
Andrea writes:

I can totally relate! I always take way too much on and then I freak out when I can’t get it all done. I am definitely in a similar phase of my life right now so I really appreciate your words of wisdom. As a cautious person, I always find it hard to take risks and you always inspire me to take a chance. Thanks and good luck with everything!

May 23 2006
1:35 pm
Feisty writes:

absolutely! I just said to Lance yesterday, “Worry really does nothing. It doesn’t help anything and it doesn’t change anything. If I trust that the universe is going to look after me, it’s so much easier!”
here’s to moving in the directions that scare the crap out of us!

May 23 2006
2:15 pm
eliane writes:

The rest really does happen on it’s own. I always wonder about peple complaining about the amount of decision they have to take. I hardly ever decide anything. Learn to say yes, and your life becomes a conceptual artwork.

May 23 2006
5:33 pm
kelsi writes:

I’m facing a move across the country to a city that I don’t particularly want to move to. Your attitude about moving has really helped me take the next step. See where I am as beautiful. Soak it in. And then get ready tot ake the plunge with a BIG smile on my face. Who knows what new adventure I’ll find. Thanks for the perspective. And best of luck on your own roller coaster ride.

May 23 2006
7:58 pm
Milly writes:

Amen! I am about to move in a new direction that scares the crap out of me. I’m facing a huge life change brought on by something ending. I’m trying to stay positive and have faith that everything will work out. It has to.

May 24 2006
2:06 am
Michal writes:

Hi Keri,
This is so important for me now. Like you I am preparing to move-except to another country across the other side of the world. I feel as if your words will be mirroring my own experiences in the months to come.
Iam scared..but I think Iam ‘willing’ umm well almost.
Kindest Wsihes
Michal

May 24 2006
3:06 am
Cecilia writes:

I used to have my life planned out but recently discovered you cannot go on doing this. Why? Because you are resisting what the Universe truly has in store for you. I am mighty scared of what’s out there. My situation is so unstable now brought about the end of so many things in the life I built out here in the past 7 years.
But your post spoke to me. And it gave me so much comfort and reminded me of something I’d almost forgotten:
“Go on the Path of Least Resistance”. This goes with your keywords: “being willing”. All the best to us!

May 24 2006
6:55 am
daniela writes:

Hi Keri. So true what you say.
still what I find most difficult is the “finding your direction” type thing. Once something, a situation, a project “moves” me I get very determined but it hasn’t happened in ages. So many things, possibilities, choices, difficulties, expectations, thinking….too much thinking little action! I will follow your journal to get inspired from across the ocean…
In bocca al lupo!

May 24 2006
10:04 am
kerry writes:

thanks for the reminder and encouragement to look for “hints of buddha between the nerves”!
i love that. i spent a week in lousiana after hurricane katrina and the first house we cleaned out had close to a foot of muck to dig through. one of the first salvagable items we found was a statue of a buddha. we cleaned it off and set it to the side, and everytime i looked at it felt an unrecognizable, but welcomed sense of calm. thanks for bringing this memory back to me. i hope you find those moments of calmness… or that they find you!

May 24 2006
9:36 pm
MARYBETH writes:

Jump and that net is gonna appear =)
XO
MB in JT

May 24 2006
11:06 pm
Anonymous writes:

I, too, am in a similar space. So nice to read this and breathe and remember…thank-you.

May 24 2006
11:06 pm
Anonymous writes:

I, too, am in a similar space. So nice to read this and breathe and remember…thank-you.

May 25 2006
10:39 am
Mercedes writes:

Hi Keri,
The important part, is to really believe in the “big picture”and that everything will arrive and be in their place at their moment…
Like the nature…
I really enjoy reading your page!
Remember your breath. All the best

May 25 2006
11:31 am
marion barnett writes:

It hadn’t struck me clearly, until I read this, that that is just where I am in my life just now. Thank you for making it clear to me. And enjoy the space you are in…breathing is good, enjoying is good, too, and the best bit is, you can do both at once!

May 25 2006
12:05 pm
Michele writes:

That was so well put. I too start to panic when I have so much to do and life is taking all sorts of twists and turns. Letting ourselves go with the flow, no matter how scary, is much less painful that swimming against the current. I wish you the best on your move to the North East.

May 27 2006
7:16 am
GoGo writes:

I read this post at the absolute right time for me. Thank you.
Lovely writing.

May 27 2006
4:20 pm
sarai writes:

Oh my goodness, right timing for me too. I, too, am doing a cross country move in two months, with lots to do before then and a tendency to panic. Good reflections and advice. Thank you.

May 31 2006
12:19 pm
low salt high flavor writes:

“and that means being willing to move in directions that scare the crap out of you.”
thanks keri! i needed this. :)


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