July 31st, 2006

after a long journey, which involves many stories including one about a decision to abandon the trailer after feeling it was unsafe and quickly unloading a lot (most) of our stuff onto a family member’s front lawn and then giving most of it to the goodwill in portland, and another about a rock bouncing off of another car and shattering our back window,
i am here,
in Troy.
and I have not yet had a moment to breathe.
the move has not gone as smoothly as hoped, there have been a few tears, several bumpy moments, some cranky moments, a few laughs,
and yet some of the events have once again convinced me that the universe knows better than I.
i so want to share more details with you, but it is not time yet. nothing is life threatening, i’m just trying to let go and trust yet again. (As my good friend Stu used to say, “Is there any blood?… No?… Then there’s nothing to worry about.”)
but i really need some help, (those of you who know me well probably know that I do not like to ever ask for help), but i am trying to working on that.
and so, I need to ask you to send me some good energy right now. I could really use it. in the form of a simple thought or some extra love if you have it lying around.
know that it will be most appreciated. i will take a moment right now to breathe be grateful for everything that i have, sometimes it’s enough just to stop and think about that. I feel my tense muscles relax a bit just writing that.
the adventure continues, more to follow…
p.s. my access to internet is limited so know that if you write I may take a while to respond, (I write currently from a cafe on 4th street).

July 10th, 2006

I’ve been remiss in posting lately for the following reasons (you guess which one is untrue)…
a. I have been packing up everything I own so that it fits in the car.
b. I’ve been finishing a book.
c. I’m rebelling a bit.
d. I’ve been living in the world more.
e. I have not felt the call to work in this medium.
f. I’ve been hunting in the wilds of the amazon, and was briefly kidnapped by a unidentified tribe of natives.
So the packing is almost complete, goodbye dinners have been had, and within a few days we will begin our journey east into the unknown. I can say honestly and with a sense of calm that I have no idea what the next year will bring. What I know for sure is that I have two book projects to finish, we have a fantastic apartment in Troy (on a street that feels like victorian england), I will spend my time exploring New England, enjoying the fall and the colors and the landscape (oh lakes and ponds how I have missed you). I will read and read and read, (once the books are done), find fireplaces with large couches, drink tea, and eat lots of healthy food. I may take a course or teach one. I will add some color to my new town. I will grow in new and sometimes challenging ways. And I will try to remain open to whatever the universe brings my way, (even though it may not always be comfortable.
This week I had an incredible time exploring the De Young gallery in Golden Gate Park, (I highly recommend the observatory and the Andy Goldsworthy piece). I was also excited about and wanted to share with you a special exhibit of prints from Crown Point Press, to which there is a delightful companion book entitled, “Magical Secrets about Thinking Creatively -the art of etching and the truth of life.” There is also a website. There were so many gems in this show that I walked around writing constantly in my journal. My favorite pieces somehow incorporated the concept of chance, one being a print which was created by various people drawing marks on a plate by running and jumping with a dry point tool. And the John Cage pieces which were created randomly, (I don’t want to give away too much of the show in case you see it.) By the end of my visit I was giddy. So many good ideas in one place. Many of the echoing my own creative sentiments as of late. (I like art to involve the concepts of randomness, spontenaety, and hopefully some element of surprise.)
Another gem that I came away with from the book, which applies to both life and art, (and the thing that I most needed to hear at the time, and all throughout this period of change)…
“As you continue, which you will do, the way to proceed will become apparent.” ~John Cage
no need to worry about what comes next.

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